Young Frankenstein: The Toon Musical
by Zim'sMostLoyalServant
Summary: A parody of the hit Mel Brooks play. When doctor Jimmy Neutron Frankenstein inherits his infamous grandfather's castle, he must travel to Transylvania. Will he continue his family's legacy of monster-making? COMPLETE!
1. Prologue: The Happiest Town in Town

**A/N: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my parody of 'Young Frankenstein: the musical', which is, in my opinion, one of the best Broadway shows ever. There are a few things I want to mention first however.**

**First of all, I've only seen the show **_**once. Last year.**_** So, I will be improvising on most of the choreography for the dances, and much of the dialogue that isn't in the songs.**

**Secondly, because of some of the more –clears throat- "mature" subject matter in later scenes, I'm going to ask you all to pretend that the younger characters playing roles in this are like, 10 years older or something.**

**Well, now that that's out of the way, on with the show!**

**Disclaimer: All the characters in this belong to their respective owners. The plot and songs of 'Young Frankenstein' belong to the genius that is Mel Brooks.**

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**Prologue:**

**The Happiest Town in Town**

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Deep within the mountains of Romania laid the village of Transylvania Heights (A/N: Seriously, that's in the play). On top of one of the hills overlooking the town was a centuries-old castle, the home of a mad scientist who had, time and again, plagued the town with hideous, undead monsters. Why the villagers hadn't bothered moving is beyond the author's grasp, but that's beside the point.

The point is, the aforementioned mad scientist had finally died. At the moment, his coffin was being carried through the village to the cemetery. Walking in front of the coffin-bearers was a yellow-skinned man wearing priest robes and ringing a bell to get people's attention. This was Reverend Lovejoy, the town's resident priest and undertaker. "Make way! Make way!" he shouted, "Make way for the funeral procession of Doctor Zim von Frankenstein, maker of monsters!"

As the procession passed by, the villagers came out of their homes to watch. Eventually, they overcame their shock, and expressed their happiness in the only way they knew how- through song!

Villagers: **Listen to our tale of woe,**

**A story we must tell.**

**What happened in that castle**

**Made our lives a living hell!**

**A madman who was crazy**

**Brought a dead man back to life!**

**Who hurt and lamed, and killed and maimed,**

**Our town was torn with strife!**

**But now we're not afraid no more,**

**We see a brighter day.**

**He's laid to rest,**

**We're truly blessed,**

**And this is what we say…**

All of sudden, the villagers started dancing around, their somber mood changing to a much lighter one.

**Things are swell now!**

**Ring that bell now!**

**We're in Heaven,**

**No more Hell now!**

**Now the doctor's dead,**

**Goodbye to dread!**

**We're the happiest town in town!**

**We're all smiles now!**

**Lose that frown now!**

**No more monsters get us down now!**

**Now the doctor's past,**

**We're free at last!**

**We're the happiest town in town!**

"Hold the happiness!" a voice suddenly shouted, bringing the singing to a sudden stop.

The crowd muttered to themselves as a figure stepped out in front of them. He was wearing a pirate hat and clothes covered in barnacles, he seemed to have a squid for a head, and he had a crab arm and leg in place of his left arm and right leg. This was Captain Davy Jones, the town's Chief Inspector- who also happened to have a _lot_ of experience the late Zim and his monsters.

"'Hold the happiness'? Why Captain Jones?" a villager named Leela (from _Futurama_) asked. "Because," Jones answered, "as long as a Frankenstein lives, our village is in danger." "But Captain," a villager named Raimundo (from _Xiaolin Showdown_) said, "the Baron is dead- and he was the last of the Frankensteins!"

But Jones simply shook his head and said, "No."

"No?!" the villagers all asked as once.

"One lives," Jones said, ignoring the villagers' surprised gasp, "a grandson."

"Who is he? What does he do?" another villager named Harry Potter asked. "He's a professor," Jones replied, "the Dean of Anatomy at New York's most prestigious school of higher learning: the John, Miriam, and Anthony Hopkins School of Medicine. Mark my words, as long as this 'Young Frankenstein' walks the Earth, we will never be safe." "Ah, you're crazy," said a blue rabbit villager named Yang. Then his sister, a pink rabbit named Yin, hit him in the shoulder. "Show some respect," she said, "Captain Jones has a lot of experience dealing with the Frankenstein family." "That's right," Jones said, nodding his head, "dealing with their monsters has cost me an arm and a leg." He emphasized his point by tapping on the crab appendages.

Just then, a bizarre looking creature stepped out of the crowd. He was a lime green elephant, who stood on two legs, and had a stupid look on his face. This was Fred Fredburger (from _Billy & Mandy_), the village idiot.

"Uh, Captain?" he asked. "Which cost more- the arm or the leg?" Jones just stared at him for a moment, and then walked away, shaking his head. "We need a new village idiot," he muttered under his breath as he stalked off.

Fred watched him go, then turned to the villagers and said, "I may be the village idiot, but I ask of you- what are the chances of a New York doctor _ever_ coming to Transylvania?" The villagers all thought about this for a moment, then all simultaneously shouted, "None!" With that out of the way, the villagers resumed their celebrations.

Villagers: **On this happy day we say 'Amen!'**

**We have wanted this since God knows when!**

Fred: **No more Frankenstein!**

Villagers: **You can say that again!**

Fred: **No more Frankenstein!**

Villagers: **We're the happiest town, in-**

**No more Frankenstein!**

Fred: **No more Frankenstein!**

Villagers: **No more Frankenstein!**

Fred: **No more Frankenstein!**

Villagers: **No more Frankenstein!**

Fred: **No more Frankenstein!**

All: **Frankenstein, Frankenstein,**

**Frankenstein, Frankenstein,**

**Frankenstein, Frankenstein,**

**Frankenstein!**

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**A/N: And there's the prologue. I'll get right to work on the first chapter, where we meet our male lead. In the meantime let me know what you thought of this one.**

**Read and review!**


	2. The Brain

**A/N: Okay, did **_**anyone**_** read the first chapter? I was hoping that this was original enough an idea to catch people's attention. Hopefully things will pick up.**

**Anyway, here's the first chapter of "Young Frankenstein: the Toon Musical." It is here that we meet our male lead- I hope you enjoy and appreciate my choice.**

**Here we go!**

**Disclaimer: See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 1:**

** The Brain**

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Far, far away from Transylvania, our view now switches to the world-renowned John, Miriam and Anthony Hopkins School of Medicine. In one of the classrooms, several medical students were pestering the teacher, who stood in front of the blackboard, with questions.

Tucker: **It's been said,**

**Your grandfather brought dead tissue back to life.**

**Is that true,**

**Doctor Frankenstein?**

A. J.: **It's been said,**

**Your grandfather created a horrifying monster.**

**Is that true,**

**Doctor Frankenstein?**

Edd: **It's been said- **nay, even sung-

**That your grandfather's monster hurt and lamed,**

**Killed and maimed.**

**Is that true,**

**Doctor Frankenstein?**

All three: **Is that true, Doctor Frankenstein?**

**Is that true, Doctor Frankenstein?**

**Is that true, is that true,**

**Doctor Frankenstein?!**

The singing was cut short when the teacher spun around and glared at the students. He was a short man with curly, fudge-like hair, who wore a white lab coat over jeans and a red shirt with a yellow atom symbol on it. This was Doctor Jimmy Neutron Frankenstein, the late Zim's grandson.

"That's Neutron!" he snapped at the medical students. "I had the last part of my name legally dropped, so don't call me that." (A/N: That's not in the play, but work with me, people) Jimmy cleared his throat and straightened out his coat, then let out a small chuckle. "Yes, yes," he said, "the _whole world_ knows what my grandfather did. But, do I look like the type of madman who'd prowl around graveyards digging up recently buried corpses?" "Well, Professor…" one of the students started to say, but he was cut off by Jimmy suddenly jabbing a finger in his direction.

"_Don't _answer that."

Jimmy: **I'm not a Frankenstein,**

**I don't indulge in high jinks or tomfoolery.**

**I'm not a Frankenstein,**

**I don't believe in mummies, ghosts or ghoul-ery.**

**I deal in facts not fiction,**

**I am a scientist.**

**I live for truth and reason,**

**That's the reason I exist.**

Seeing that he'd gotten his point across to the students, Jimmy moved on. "There is a vast difference," he said, "between my crazy grandfather's delusional experiments and my own devotion to pure science. Which brings us to the subject of today's lecture-" Jimmy reached under his desk drawer and pulled out a model of the human brain.

**The brain!**

**There is nothing like the brain!**

**Hearts and lungs are merely tinker toys,**

**When stacked against the brain.**

**Insane!**

**I'm insane about the brain!**

**No invention in the universe,**

**Is equal to the brain.**

**The mouth's a marvel when it comes to eating,**

**I've nothing against the womb.**

**I thank the bladder when I'm excreting,**

**And I always give the elbow room!**

**But the brain!**

**Please allow me to explain.**

**There's no organ can compare to it,**

**I swear to it,**

**It's plain!**

**It's the brain!**

As Jimmy wrapped up his latest stanza, two orderlies wheeled someone in on a stretcher. He was a giant red crab with tentacles on his mouth, and he was wearing one of those shirts patients wear in hospitals. His name was Doctor Zoidberg (from _Futurama_). Jimmy began speaking again. "Doctor Zoidberg here, with whom I have never worked, nor given any prior instruction to, has graciously offered his services for today's demonstration," he said. Jimmy then walked up to the blackboard and pulled down a chart of the human brain. He took out a pointer and started pointing out parts of the brain as he started singing again.

Jimmy: **His modulo oblong gotta**

**Tells his brain stem that it's gotta,**

**Sends an impulse full of dotta,**

**Which creates alotta pain.**

**His frontal lobe gets busy**

**With the thoughts that make him dizzy,**

**Puts his cortex in a tizzy**

**So he never will complain-**

**That's what I love about the brain!**

"Dr. Zoidberg," Jimmy said to the crab, who had gotten off the stretcher, "will you raise your left knee, please?" Zoidberg did so, balancing on his right foot. Jimmy turned to his audience and said, "You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve action." He turned back to Zoidberg. "Dr, Zoidberg, you may lower your knee." Zoidberg did so as Jimmy walked over to him and placed an arm around his shoulder.

"Reflex actions, on the other hand," Jimmy said to his students, "are made independently of the will." He paused for a moment at this, then calmly said to Zoidberg, "You dirty, yellow SON OF A BITCH!" and brought up his knee, as though he was going to slam it into Zoidberg's "sensitive area". He stopped short, but Zoidberg flinched anyway. Jimmy then turned back to his students.

Jimmy: **Even though I almost kneed him,**

**His reflexes have no freedom**

**To react when I mistreat him,**

**It's important I explain.**

**Synaptic nerve connections**

**Go their way without detection,**

**Bringing cranial protection**

**In a never ending chain-**

**That's what I love about the brain!**

"But," Jimmy continued, "what if we apply local pressure- which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp- just at the swelling of the posterior nerve roots, for, oh say, four seconds." As he said this, Jimmy picked up a metal clamp from an instrument tray and placed it on Zoidberg's neck. He then placed his arm back around Zoidberg's shoulders and calmly stared at his watch. After a few seconds, still the perfect picture of calm, said, "You mother-grabbing BASTARD!" and slammed his knee into Zoidberg's "sensitive area." The aforementioned crab didn't even flinch as he did so.

The students let out a surprised gasp as Jimmy smirked at them and said, "As you can see, even though I just slammed my knee into his crotch, he does not react. He feels absolutely _nothing_." Zoidberg let out a groan, causing Jimmy to turn and look at him, before turning back to the students and sheepishly adding, "More or less. So, as you can see, were it not for this system of nervous relays, we would collapse. Like a bunch. Of. BROCCOLI!"

As Jimmy said this, he yanked the clamp off of Zoidberg's neck, causing him to collapse. The orderlies grabbed Zoidberg, put him back on the stretcher, and wheeled him out of the room. Jimmy then placed the clamp back in the instrument tray, and turned to the students.

Jimmy: **So in conclusion,**

**So there's no confusion,**

**Let me say it once again.**

**Though your genitalia**

**Have been known to fail ya,**

**You can bet your ass on the brain!**

"Everybody!" Jimmy shouted to the students, who stood up, and joined their teacher in song.

Students:** The brain!**

**There is nothing like the brain!**

**It's the king of our anatomy,**

**And ever shall remain!**

Jimmy: **You can call me Copernicus, Keplar and Newton.**

**Compare me Freud and I feel high fluting.**

**Call me a Darwin; I love that man's theory.**

**Call me Pasteur and watched me get teary.**

**Say Madame Curie; that would be best.**

**Call me a Rochester; I'm up to the test.**

**I really light up when you call me Edison.**

**Call me an Eirlich, I like that man's medicine.**

**Call me Marconi that wireless wow.**

**Call me Popoff and I bark like a Chow.**

**Call an Einstein and that would be fine.**

**Call me a Tesla, I wouldn't decline.**

**But to call me a Frankenstein would be insane!**

'**Cause I love…**

Students: **His name is Neutron!**

Jimmy:** …the…**

Students: **The facts are plain.**

**There is nothing like the**

All: **Brain!**

As the last note was sung, the bell outside the classroom rang. "Class dismissed!" Jimmy said to the students, who walked out the door. As he took off his lab coat and put on his jacket, a telegram boy walked in.

He was a short kid with pink skin and three hairs named Eddy (from _Ed, Edd, & Eddy_). "You Dr. Frankenstein?" he asked in an "I-don't-care-as-long-as-I-get-paid" tone. "That's Neutron!" Jimmy snapped, "didn't anyone get the memo?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever," Eddy said, rolling his eyes, "Anyway, I've got a telegram for you." Eddy took out a telegram and read from it, "'Dr. Franken… Neutron. This letter is to inform you of the passing away of your grandfather, Baron Zim von Frankenstein.'"

"No," Jimmy gasped.

"Yes," Eddy said, as he continued, "'You must come to Transylvania at once to receive all your inheritance.'"

"No," Jimmy said, now more in a pleading tone than a surprised one.

"Yes," Eddy said, before finishing the telegram, "'Sincerely, your grandfather's lawyer, Lionel Hutz.'"

"Well, this is just terrific," Jimmy said to himself, before tossing a coin to Eddy, "Here's a nickel."

"A nickel?! No!" Eddy snapped.

"_Yes_," Jimmy snidely said to the greedy messenger, who turned around and walked out of the room, muttering about cheapskate doctors. Said cheapskate doctor was already packing up his paperwork, so that he could get home and get ready for his trip to Transylvania.

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**A/N: Wow, this is the longest single chapter I've ever written for anything. Of course, this could be because this was the longest number in the show. I'm also pretty sure I spelt most of the medical terms and scientist names wrong, but I'm working from what I hear, so can you blame me?**

**Anyway, next chapter, we meet another important character. Till then, read and review!**


	3. Please Don't Touch Me

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get up. I haven't had a lot of time to write, plus I'm also working on a story over in the 'Doctor Who' section.**

**Anyway, this chapter is where we meet another important character… it also happens to contain my least favorite song from the show, but that's beside the point. I hope you all enjoy. I know JusSonic is so far, since he's enjoyed it enough to write his own parody of the show (check it out, it's pretty good).**

**BTW, I don't really remember the dialogue of this scene too well, so it's going to be shorter than in the actual play.**

**Disclaimer: See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 2:**

** Please Don't Touch Me**

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A couple of days later, Jimmy was at the docks, about to board the ship that will take him to Transylvania, because apparently, planes haven't been invented yet. With him was a young woman with blond hair in a ponytail, wearing a green tank top and brown pants. This was Cindy Vortex, Jimmy's fiancée.

"Oh, Jimmy, my love. I will miss you so much," she said to Jimmy as she leaned close to him. "I'll miss you too, darling," Jimmy said, "but this should only take a few days, and then I'll be right on my way back." He leaned in to give his fiancée a kiss, but she put up her hand and blocked him. "Not on the lips dear," she said.

"Why not?" Jimmy asked. "I'm going to that party at the Simpsons later, and I don't want to ruin my makeup," Cindy explained as Jimmy silently groaned. "Besides," she added, rather seductively, "we'll be able to do that- and more- once we're married."

Cindy: **Dream all you want, my darling,**

**Of every lustful situation.**

**Those naughty thoughts**

**Are fine with me.**

**As long as they,**

**Stay locked away,**

**In your imagination.**

Cindy backed away from Jimmy and sat down on some crates lying on the dock.

Cindy:** You can hug me till I scream,**

**If it's only in a dream.**

**But please,**

**Don't touch me.**

**You can feel me till I squeal,**

**Just as long as it's not real.**

**But please,**

**Don't touch me.**

She suddenly jumped up, startling Jimmy (who had been moving closer to her with every line of her song), and moving until she was a few feet away from him. Then she started singing again, at a much faster pace.

Cindy: **You can stick me,**

**You can lick me,**

**You can pinch me till I'm blue.**

**You can bite and delight me till I'm blind.**

**You can savage me and ravage me,**

**I care not what you do,**

**If the lovely filthy things you do**

**Are only in your mind.**

Cindy then started hitting herself slightly on the side, no doubt to get her next point across.

Cindy: **You can spank me till I'm red,**

**If it's only in your head.**

**But please,**

**Don't touch me.**

**You can have me don't you see,**

**If it's just a fantasy.**

**But please,**

**Don't touch me!**

Cindy paused for a bit, and put her arms around her fiancée. Apparently, she could touch_ him_, even though he couldn't touch _her_. Anyway, author's observation out of the way, Cindy went on to say, "Oh Jimmy, darling, I know you're a virgin…" "Yes," Jimmy said, cutting her off, "for me, science has always come first." "And as every guy in New York knows," Cindy went on, apparently lost in her own thoughts, "I come first, too." Jimmy got a confused look on his face, but before he could ask anything, Cindy broke away from him and resumed singing.

Cindy: **After our wedding,**

**You'll be oh so glad we waited.**

**Until then take cold showers**

**When you're over stimulated.**

Cindy twirled over to another pile of crates, Jimmy right behind her, and sat down. Just as Jimmy was about to jump on top of her, she pulled up her leg and pressed her foot against his chest, stopping him in place.

Cindy: **Anticipation is sublime,**

**And although you might think I'm**

**A tease,**

**Please**

**Don't touch me!**

Jimmy and Cindy then started doing some kind of ballroom dance… but without touching each other. In fact, there was about a foot of empty air between them.

"Oh look, everyone!" a woman on the ship named Lois Griffin shouted to everyone else on the dock. "How unique! They're _not_ touching!" "Aye," said the ship's captain, Jack Sparrow, "it must be 'Please Don't Touch Me', the new dance craze that's sweeping Catholic girl schools all across the Midwest." "Oh, it looks like fun," Lois said, as she continued to watch Jimmy and Cindy dance around the dock, "lets try it!"

And with that, everyone on the docks and the ship started copying the fiancées. It actually went pretty well… at least, until the part where the man is supposed to dip the woman. Seeing as none of the men were actually _holding_ their dance partners, all the women dropped to the ground. The men picked them back up, and they went back to dancing.

All: **Please don't,**

**Please don't,**

**Please don't touch me!**

At this point, all the dancers started moving around in one big circle. Cindy broke away from Jimmy and made her way to the center of the circle, so that everyone was dancing around her.

Cindy: **Do not hug us,**

**Do not drug us,**

**Do not slug us till we cry.**

**Do not throb us**

**Till you rob us of our wits.**

Men: **We won't poke you,**

**We won't stroke you**

**Till we're just about to die.**

Cindy: **But even in your wildest dreams,**

**Don't dare to touch our tits.**

**Don't dare to touch our tits.**

Women: **Don't dare to touch our tits,**

**Don't touch our tits,**

**Don't touch our tits,**

**Don't touch our**

Cindy: **Tits tits tits tits tits tits,**

_**Tiiiits!**_

**Our **_**tiiiiiiiits!**_

At this moment, the ship's whistle blew, indicating it was getting ready to leave. Jimmy gave a yelp, grabbed his luggage, and ran up the gangplank so that he wouldn't miss the boat- everyone else must have decided to catch the next one, because they all stayed on the dock with Cindy. In any case, Jimmy had to jump from the gangplank onto the ship, because it was already pulling away.

Meanwhile, back on the dock, Cindy was continuing to sing to the dancers, apparently not noticing (or caring) that Jimmy was gone.

Cindy: **When we're absolutely wed,**

**You can do it till we're dead!**

"Cindy!" Jimmy shouted to her from the ship, trying to get her attention so he could say goodbye. However, she didn't hear him, as she was finishing up her song.

Women:** Till then,**

**Please, please, please!**

Men: **We're down on our knees!**

Women: **Please, please, please, please!**

Cindy: **Keep your hands off these!** (A/N: I think you know what she means)

Cindy and women: **Please don't touch me!**

Men: **We won't touch you!**

Cindy and women: **Please don't touch me!**

Men: **We won't touch you!**

All: **Please no touchie!**

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**A/N: I apologize again for the shorter-than-in-the-play dialogue before the song started. But like I said at the beginning, I'm working off memory.**

**In any case, next chapter we meet our Igor, and we get a lovely little duet between him and Jimmy (it's much better than this song).**

**In the meantime, read and review, and please read JusSonic's version of the parody.**


	4. Together Again

**A/N: Well, since I've got writer's block on my 'Doctor Who' fic, I figured I'd concentrate on this for now.**

**Anyway, this chapter we meet my choice for Igor- I think you'll all appreciate it.**

**And on a side note to Anonymous But Interested: yes I do prefer pairings that stay within their own continuities, but I do also like certain x-over pairings. I've updated my profile page so that it'll be clearer to you.**

**With that out of the way, let the show go on!**

**Disclaimer: See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 3:**

** Together Again**

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About a week after leaving New York, Jimmy arrived in Transylvania. He then boarded a train to take him from the mainland to the interior of the country, where Transylvania Heights lay. After about a day's worth of travel, Jimmy arrived at the village train station.

As the train pulled away from the station, Jimmy took a look around. Considering it was the middle of the night and that there was a thick fog over the area, he couldn't see anything too well. He turned around and saw an old gargoyle named Kraggler (_Yin Yang Yo!_) who was, for some reason, dressed like a shoeshine boy. "Excuse me, sir," Jimmy said, walking towards Kraggler, "but is this the Transylvania Heights station?"

"Yeah, yeah," Kraggler said, "This is Transylvania Heights. Can I interest you in a-" At this point, Kraggler fell asleep where he stood. Jimmy held his hand in front of Kraggler's face and snapped his fingers. "Shine!" Kraggler shouted, finishing his sentence as he woke up with a start. "Uh, no thanks," Jimmy said, as he backed away a little bit. "Well, thanks for nothing," Kraggler muttered as he walked off.

Jimmy peered through the fog- he had been informed via telegram at the dock that someone would be meeting him to take him to the castle. As he looked around, he didn't notice the figure in the black cloak slowly circling him in the fog. Due to timing only found in comedy movies (and their parodies), the figure was circling Jimmy so that he was always in the exact opposite direction that the doctor/teacher was looking. After a few moments of this, the figure quickly moved up to right behind Jimmy just as he was turning around, so that they were face-to-face.

"Doctor Frankenstein?"

The startled doctor didn't say anything as he registered what was going on. Standing in front of him was a young man about his age, wearing blue pants, a pink shirt, and a matching pink hat (the clothes are underneath the cloak). He had buckteeth, messy brown hair, and had a hump on his left shoulder. "Um, it's Neutron," Jimmy said, a little too shocked to say anything else. The cloaked man blinked. "You're kidding," he said. "No, I had it legally changed," Jimmy replied, before a thought occurred to him. "Hey, did Mr. Hutz send you?"

"Yes sir," the man replied, with a small bow, "or maybe I should call you 'Master' from now on."

"Oh, okay," Jimmy said, "then you must be Timmy Igor." "Actually, it's 'Turner'," Timmy replied. "But they told me…" Timmy cut Jimmy off with the wave of a hand. "I had my named changed too. My grandfather worked for your grandfather, so I figured it was for the best." He cleared his throat, and then leaned in and whispered, "Of course, our rates have gone up since then."

"Well, that makes sense," Jimmy said. He then clapped his hands together. "So, shall we be going then?" "Oh, of course," Timmy said, taking another bow, "Personally, I can't wait to get to the castle." He chuckled a little bit. "Oh, the fantastic things we'll do- it'll be like old times, you and me." At this point, Timmy got a faraway look in his eyes, and he waved an arm out in the air. "Right up there, with the world's greatest pairs!"

Timmy:** Like Laurel and Hardy,**

**Like Coke and Bacardi.**

**Like Juliet and Romeo,**

**Ebb and flow,**

**To and Fro.**

**Together,**

**Together again!**

Timmy then began dancing around Jimmy, who was looking slightly annoyed.

Timmy:** Together again for the first time,**

**We've only met in a dream.**

**Up until now it's been the worst time,**

**But now that you're here we're a team.**

**Together again for the first time,**

**Haven't a woe or a care.**

**No longer a bad and a cursed time.**

**It's easy to see,**

**You have to agree,**

**We're destined to be**

**A great pair!**

Timmy then stopped dancing, and shuffled closer to Jimmy, with a forlorn expression on his face.

Timmy:** All of my life,**

**I've been stooging around,**

**Nothing to do,**

**At a loss.**

**All of my life,**

**I've been stooging around,**

**But what good is a stooge,**

**If he ain't got a boss?**

Timmy then began dancing around again, back in a happier mood. Jimmy, meanwhile, looked like he was running out of patience.

Timmy:** Together again for the first time,**

**Back on the track to renown!**

**We're gonna thrill 'em.**

**We're gonna kill 'em.**

**You'll be the teacher,**

**We'll make a new creature!**

**And scare the blooming daylights,**

**Right out of this town!**

During this last bit of the song, Timmy had dropped onto his knees and spread out his arms. He got up, about to do something else, but Jimmy cut him off. "Stop it, stop it!" he shouted, "You don't understand. I'll only be here for a few days to settle my grandfather's estate, and then I'm heading straight back to New York. _No _laboratories, _no _creatures."

"Bet you change your mind, Master," Timmy said with a grin, "Join the chorus! It's fun!" Jimmy snorted and crossed his arms. "My dear Timmy," he said, "I happen to be the dean of anatomy at a world-renowned school of medicine… although I do sing a little." He paused for a moment, considering something before adding, "There was, in fact, a Wiffenpoof at Yale."

"A Wiffenpoof? Wow!" Timmy exclaimed (even though he, like the author, had no idea what a Wiffenpoof was). Timmy then nudged his new boss with his elbow. "C'mon, Doc, nobody's around!" "Well," Jimmy said, looking around, "nobody _is _around… what the hell?!" And with that, Jimmy joined his new assistant in the dance number.

Jimmy:** Together again for the first time,**

Timmy: **Together again for the first time,**

Jimmy: **Haven't a woe or a care,**

Timmy: **Haven't a woe or a care,**

Jimmy: **No longer a bad and a cursed time,**

Timmy: **This is the best time!**

Jimmy: **It's easy to see!**

Timmy: **You have to agree!**

Both: **We're destined to be a great pair!**

"May I?" Jimmy asked.

"Take it!" was Timmy's response.

Jimmy:** All of my life,**

**I've been bossing around,**

**Mean and alone like a Scrooge!**

**All of my life,**

**I've been bossing around,**

**But what good is a boss,**

**If he ain't got a stooge?**

On that last note, Jimmy slapped Timmy right on the hump on his left shoulder, which made a hollow sound. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry," Jimmy said, feeling mildly embarrassed, "Look, I don't mean to embarrass you, but I am a rather brilliant surgeon- perhaps I could help you with that hump." "What hump?" Timmy asked, looking honestly confused. Jimmy opened his mouth, but apparently couldn't think of anything to say, so he decided to go back to singing.

Both:** Together again for the first time,**

**We've only met in a dream!**

Jimmy: **Like Ginger and Freddy!**

Timmy: **McDonald and Eddy!**

Jimmy: **Like San Juan and Teddy!**

Timmy: **Or meatballs and spaghetti!**

Both:** But the pair that we cry for,**

**The pair that we sigh for,**

**The pair that we die for,**

**Is Neutron and Turner!**

**For the first time,**

**Together again!**

"Walk this way," Timmy said, as he picked up Jimmy's luggage, and started walking towards the station exit, dragging his left leg as he did so. Jimmy started following him in a normal fashion, but Timmy noticed this and said, "No, walk _this_ way," indicating his leg, "drag your leg." "Drag my leg?" Jimmy asked. "Yeah, your left leg." Jimmy did as Timmy said, and started dragging his left leg as he followed his new assistant out of the station. "Like this?" he asked. "Yeah," Timmy answered, "get creepy, you know?" "Get creepy…?" Jimmy started to ask, but stopped and just shook his head.

As the pair got outside, they both looked around, and seeing that there was no one else in the area, grinned at each other and started to sing again.

Both:** Together again for the first time,**

**We've only met in a dream!**

Jimmy: **Like Gimbel and Macy!**

Timmy: **Like Headburn and Tracy!**

Jimmy: **Like Lombard and Gabel!**

Timmy:** Like good 'ole Cain and Able!**

Both: **For the first time,**

**Together again!!**

At this point, the two were standing in front of a horse drawn wagon. Simultaneously, both of them dropped down so that they were sitting on the back edge of the wagon, and they draped their arms around each other's shoulders.

Both: **Together forever again!**

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

**A/N: And I'll end it right there, or I'll risk being tempted to try and fit two long songs in the same chapter.**

**I hope you all enjoyed my choice of Timmy as Igor- he's the perfect match for Jimmy, in my opinion. And yes, I made him a hunchback, but if we lose the hump, we lose a major recurring joke.**

**Next chapter, we meet our leading lady, and another important character.**

**Til then, read and review!**


	5. Roll in the Hay

**A/N: Okay, here we get to meet our leading lady, and get a wonderful solo… well, mostly solo. Hope you enjoy.**

**Also, I will once again be mostly ad-libing the dialogue before and after the singing, as this is one of the parts of the show I don't remember. Oh, and pretend that Dani (from **_**Danny Phantom**_**) talks with an accent.**

**Disclaimer: See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 4:**

** Roll in the Hay**

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Having finished up their duet, Timmy turned to Jimmy and said, "You can just throw your bags in the back of the wagon, and we can get going." "Works for me," Jimmy said. He tossed the bags he was carrying over his back and into the straw-covered back of the wagon. There was a _thud!_ followed by an "oof!" as the bags hit something.

"What was that?" Jimmy asked, looking at the wagon. "Oh, that would be Dani," Timmy said.

"Dani?"

"Yeah, it's short for Danielle," Timmy explained, "I figured you'd need a lab assistant, so I took the liberty of hiring one for you. She's got a degree in medicine from the local college." "Oh, well thanks, I guess," Jimmy said. Just then, someone popped up from out of the straw. She was a girl about Jimmy's age, with black hair and blue eyes, wearing red shorts, a blue hoody and a red baseball cap (which was being worn backwards). Jimmy stared at her, his jaw slightly slacked.

"Hello!" she said, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Frankenstein." "Um, actually, it's Neutron," Jimmy stammered, "I had it changed." "Oh, I see," Dani said, then shrugged and added, "In any case, I am really looking forward to working closely with you." "Yes, very closely," Jimmy muttered, before shaking himself and saying, "So, how are getting to the castle?"

"Oh, we _schawk ver the schagen hagen suchen fruchen_," Dani said (working from sound, here).

"What's that?" Jimmy asked, not understanding the German (?) anymore than the author did when he saw the play.

"A hayride!"

"Oh," Jimmy said with a shrug. He climbed into the wagon, and Timmy cracked a whip at the horses in front, making them pull the wagon. As they started up the road into the mountains towards Castle Frankenstein, Dani stood up in the wagon and started singing.

Dani: **Roll, roll,**

**Roll in the hay,**

**Roll, roll,**

**Your troubles away.**

**When life is awful,**

**Just jump on a strufel,**

**And roll,**

**Roll in the hay!**

**Roll, roll,**

**Roll in the hay,**

**Roll, roll,**

**Do it all day.**

**When spirits are saggin',**

**Then jump in a wagon,**

**And roll,**

**Roll in the hay!**

Dani paused in her song and said to Jimmy, who was staring at her in a slight state of shock, "I'm very high-spirited, Doctor. I hope you won't hold it against me."

"I'll try not to," was Jimmy's only response, so Dani went back to singing.

Dani: **Hitch those horses up for a gay ride,**

**We'll have lots of fun!**

**Nothing's better than a hayride,**

**Underneath the sun!**

**Roll, roll,**

**Roll in the hay,**

**Some times,**

**Love finds a way.**

**You might steal a kiss**

**From an unwilling miss,**

**Who's not too resistant to play-**

**So let's all roll, roll, **_**rolllll**_

**Roll in the hay!**

"So," Dani asked, "have you thought of any ways you could use me?" Jimmy didn't say anything for a moment; he simply looked up and down, with a thoughtful expression on his face. Eventually, he cleared his throat and said, "Two. And I'm working on a third." "Oh good!" Dani exclaimed, "Does that mean I'm hired?" "Well, a large part of me is pointing in that direction," Jimmy said, crossing his legs to cover up which "part" he was talking about.

Both: **Roll, roll, in the hay!**

Then, Timmy must have put the horses on autopilot or something, because he climbed into the back of the wagon with the other two and started singing as well.

Timmy: **We'll go up the path,**

**Then down the hill.**

**Back up the path,**

**Then down the hill.**

**We'll go up and down,**

**And up and down,**

**And up and down,**

**And up and down.**

All of a sudden, Timmy stood up straight (as much as a hunchback can, anyway), and started singing in a much deeper voice, while Jimmy and Dani continued to repeat the "Up and Down" part of the song.

Timmy: **Hitch those horses up for a gay ride,**

**We'll have lots of fun!**

**Nothing's better than a hayride,**

**Underneath the sun!**

Dani: **Yo-de-lay-de Yo-de-lay**

Timmy and Jimmy: **Roll in it!**

Dani: **Roll in it!**

**Yo-de-lay-de Yo-de-lay**

Timmy and Jimmy: **Roll in it!**

Dani: **Roll in it!**

**Come take a hayride,**

**A take-your-breath-away ride,**

**Roll in it,**

**Roll in the hay!**

Dani then went into a long string of yodeling, which the author was too lazy to try and copy down.

Off in the distance, a wolf howled at the moon. "What's that?!" asked Jimmy, who'd never heard an actual wolf before, apparently. "Werewolves," Dani answered in a slightly scared sounding voice. "Werewolves?" Jimmy asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. "There!" Timmy (who was now driving the wagon again) shouted, "There Wolves!"

"Huh?" Jimmy asked.

"There Wolves!" Timmy shouted again, pointing out into the mountain forest surrounding them, before pointing ahead of them and shouting, "There Castle!" "Why are you talking like that?" asked Jimmy. "I Don't Know!" Timmy shouted again, then he stopped and thought for a few moments. Finally, he said, "I don't know… I thought you wanted me to." "Well, I _don't_," said Jimmy firmly. Timmy simply shrugged and said, "Have it your way. I'm easy."

Dani then went into another string of yodeling- and as she did so, a werewolf attacked the wagon. He was an old, mangy-looking werewolf wearing coveralls named Wolfman (from _Billy & Mandy_). He tried climbing onto the wagon, but Timmy started kicking him and hitting him with the whip, and after a few minutes he let go. Of course, this upset the horses, who began running at a much faster pace, which temporarily threw off Dani's singing… miraculously, she hadn't noticed Wolfman's attack. Soon, Timmy got the horses back under control, and he and Jimmy once again joined Dani in her song.

Timmy and Jimmy: **So let's roll, roll, roll,**

**We'll all roll, roll, roll,**

Dani: **Come with me**

**And **_**rollll**_**,**

Timmy and Jimmy: **Roll in,**

**Roll in,**

**Roll in,**

All: **Roll in the hay!**

XXXXXXXX

Shortly after the trio had finished the song, the wagon pulled into the courtyard of ancient Castle Frankenstein. Opposite the wagon were two very large wooden doors, each of which had a large metal ring attached to it. Jimmy observed them as he helped Dani down from the wagon.

"My, what large knockers," he said. "Oh, why thank you," Dani said, blushing a little- she had clearly misunderstood what the good Doctor had meant. Jimmy looked a little embarrassed, but simply cleared his throat and said, "Well, we better get inside then." "Oh, allow me, Master," Timmy said as he jumped off the wagon. He walked over to the doors, and jumped up to the knockers, which were several feet above him. Upon grabbing them, he kicked off from the door, and then slammed back into it, making a knocking sound.

He then promptly fell to the ground, as he had hit the door face first.

A few minutes later, the doors creaked open, and a woman carrying a candelabrum stepped out. She was several years older than the three who had just arrived, she had violet hair, she was wearing a black dress and a skull necklace, and she was (to quote another movie the author has seen) scary beyond all belief. Everyone just stared at her for a moment before she spoke.

"Good evening," she said, "I am the housekeeper, Gaz." As soon as she said her name, the horses freaked out and starting neighing and rearing up in the air. "Whoa!" shouted Timmy, who had gotten up off the ground and was now running over to the horses and was trying to calm them down. "Whoa Black'n! Whoa Decker!" he shouted to the horses.

Jimmy looked at the horses for a second, then turned to Gaz and said, "Nice to meet you. I'm Doctor Neutron, and these are my assistants, Dani and Timmy," he then turned to Dani and said, "Dani, allow me to introduce Gaz." As soon as he said 'Gaz', the horses Timmy had just managed to calm down started acting up again. "I wonder what's gotten into them," Jimmy said. "I'm sure it's nothing," Gaz said, "Now please, follow me, and I'll show you to your rooms. But stay close to the light, the stairs can be treacherous." "Of course," Jimmy said, and he and Dani started following Gaz into the castle. As they walked through the doors, Jimmy turned around and said, "Timmy, grab our bags won't you?" "Yes, Master," Timmy said with a bow.

After the others had walked inside, he grabbed the luggage and followed them in. He paused for a moment at the doorway, then turned around and shouted, "Gaz!" The horses started neighing again and ran off to somewhere else in the courtyard. Timmy laughed and walked inside, closing the doors behind him.

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**A/N: And that chapter ends right there. I hope you all like my choices to play Inga and Frau Blucha… or however you spell her name. And yes, I know I cut out large chunks of the yodeling, but I really couldn't motivate my self to write about 50 lines of "yodel-de-lay-de". JusSonic, if you want to try in your parody, feel free.**

**BTW, there's a joke in the horses' names. See if you can get it (Hint: say the names one right after the other).**

**Next chapter, we get my favorite song from the show, as Jimmy is forced to face his heritage.**

**Until then, read & review!**


	6. Join the Family Business

**A/N: Welcome to another chapter of 'Young Frankenstein: The Toon Musical'. In this chapter, we get my favorite song in the show, sung by my favorite cartoon character of all time. I hope you will all enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 5:**

** Join the Family Business**

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Later that night, after dinner, and after everyone else had gone to bed, Jimmy stood in the castle's study. It was an impressive looking room, with self upon self of books stacked against the walls. There were several comfortable chairs seated next to a large fireplace in the middle of the room. Above the fireplace, there was a portrait of a short, green-skinned alien with red bug-eyes and black antennae, who was wearing a red shirt, black pants, black boots, and black three-fingered gloves. This was Doctor Baron Zim von Frankenstein, Jimmy's grandfather.

Underneath the watchful gaze of the portrait, Jimmy, now wearing a night robe, was picking books off one of the shelves, looking for some late-night reading material. At that moment, Gaz walked into the room, apparently not noticing him. Jimmy watched in slight confusion as Gaz reached up and placed a kiss on Zim's portrait and muttered a quiet "goodnight" to it. She then turned around… and jumped when she saw Jimmy standing there. "Oh, good evening, Dr. Proton," she said, trying to cover up her surprise. "Uh, it's Neutron," Jimmy said, one eyebrow still raised in confusion. "Right," Gaz said, "I should try and remember that."

She then cleared her throat and said, "So, I see you are helping yourself to the library." "Yes," Jimmy said, looking around the room, "but I was hoping you could tell me were I could find my grandfather's _private _library." "What do you mean?" Gaz asked, a bit _too_ quickly…

"Well," Jimmy said, "I can't seem to find any of my grandfather's personal notes or writings. All these books- you could find them in any doctor's library." To demonstrate, Jimmy started pulling books off the shelf in front of him. "'_Structures of the Human Anatomy_', '_Analyses of the Neural System_'," Jimmy paused at the title of the next book, "'_The Kama Sutra_'?" (A/N: I made the first two titles up, the last one's actually in the play.)

Before Jimmy had a chance to wonder what such a sensual book was doing in a scientist's library, Gaz grabbed it and slammed it back into its place on the shelf. "This is the only library I know of, Dr. Electron," she snapped. "Neutron," Jimmy corrected. "Whatever," Gaz sighed, then said, "Would you care for a brandy before bed, Dr.?" "No, thank you," Jimmy said, as he walked over towards one of the chairs by the fireplace, "I think I'll stay up and read for a while." "Well then," Gaz said, "I'll be off to bed. Goodnight, Herr Doctor." "Goodnight, Gaz," Jimmy said- then cringed as the horses outside neighed again. "Okay, that's getting old," he muttered.

Gaz walked towards a staircase at the other end of the room. When she was almost there, she turned around and said, "Perhaps some tea instead?" "No, thank you," Jimmy said. Gaz turned back towards the staircase, and had just set foot on the first step, when she turned around again and asked, "Ovaltine?" Jimmy, who was by now visibly getting annoyed, simply said, "No. Thank you." Gaz nodded and started back up the stairs… but only went two or three before once again turning around, this time saying, "I could run out for a soy foam mocha latte."

Having taken all that he could of the constant questioning, Jimmy shouted, "NO MEANS NO, THANK YOU!" He breathed heavily for a few moments, then blinked and asked, "Where would you get one of those around here, anyway?" "How should I know?" Gaz snapped, "The author's just having me repeat one of the few lines of dialogue he remembers from this scene." She then cleared her throat and, ignoring the broken fourth wall, said, "Well, in that case, I wish you goodnight." "Goodnight," Jimmy said, obviously relieved that she was leaving.

Gaz simply nodded, and walked upstairs. Jimmy watched her go, and once he was sure she was gone, he sat down in one the chairs, placed the books on a small table next to the chair, grabbed one, and started reading.

XXXXXXXXX

Some time later, Jimmy was lying asleep in the chair, tossing and turning. A shadow passed over him, waking him up. "Who's there?" he asked. All of a sudden, there was a flash of light, and a cloud of smoke appeared in the middle of the room. When the smoke cleared, Jimmy couldn't believe his eyes- standing in front of him was none other than his dead grandfather, Zim!

"You!" Zim roared, pointing a clawed finger at Jimmy, "How dare you change your last name and reject your family heritage?! Who do you think you are?!" "I'm a well respected scientist and teacher," Jimmy explained, oddly calm given the situation, "one who isn't going to risk everything on your curse. And," he added, "_you_, are a bad dream. So, goodbye." He closed his eyes and laid back down in the chair- however, Zim walked over and slammed his fist into the side of the chair, startling Jimmy into an upright position. Zim leaned down so that he was eye-to-eye with Jimmy and said, "Let me explain something to you." He then backed away from the chair, struck a pose, and began to sing.

Zim: **We've been the pride of Romania**

**Since 1201.**

**Passed on for generation,**

**Father to son.**

**Descended from Gypsies,**

**As proud as we can be.**

"**Don't risk my curse"?**

**It could be worse.**

**Embrace your family tree.**

Zim then started walking quickly around the room, increasing the speed of his singing as he did so.

Zim: **Join the family business,**

**Learn the family trade.**

**Make yourself a monster,**

**Make the world afraid!**

**Join the family business,**

**You must take the family name;**

**Follow in our footsteps,**

**And you'll win eternal fame!**

Zim then began walking around Jimmy's chair, probably thinking that would help drive his point home.

Zim: **The Rotherds are celebrated for their Rotherd cheese,**

**The Rothschilds are famous for their wines.**

**Hersheys have their chocolates,**

**And Liptons have their teas.**

**When it comes to making monsters,**

**You can't beat the Frankensteins!**

Zim slid away from the chair and back towards the center of the room, spreading his arms out as he did so.

Zim: **Join the family business,**

**Rob a grave or two.**

**Stop the shop from closing,**

**It all depends on you!**

**Uphold the family honor,**

**You must tow the family line.**

**Join the family business,**

**Join the family business,**

**Join the family business,**

**For your name is Frankenstein!**

"Meet your family!" Zim shouted, before letting out a mad cackle. Suddenly, two-dozen men and women in lab coats came out of the shadows in the corners of the room; some spun on, some somersaulted. As soon as they were all in the room, they grabbed Jimmy up out of his chair, and pulled him into a chorus line with them.

Ancestors: **Join the family business,**

**Show some family pride.**

Men: **Make yourself a monster,**

Women: **And then you'll make his bride.**

Zim then grabbed Jimmy out of the chorus line and dragged him towards an older-looking Frankenstein family member.

Zim: **Listen to your great-great-great-grandfather Mordecai!**

Mordecai: **Join the family business boy,**

**If you don't want to die!**

Jimmy was then pulled back towards his other ancestors, who began pushing him back and forth between them.

Ancestors: **As you know, predestination,**

**From the day of your creation,**

**Has determined your vocation,**

**That's a fact!**

Zim: **Because you are a Frankenstein,**

Ancestor 1: **You have no choice,**

Ancestor 2: **You can't decline,**

Ancestor 3: **So show some spine,**

Zim and ancestors: **It's time to sign**

**A family pact!**

Ancestors: **This is your fate.**

**Become a Frankenstein before it's too late.**

**We know you won't regret it.**

**You should express**

**Your willingness,**

**Why not acquiesce?**

**Reassess,**

**Your own distress!**

Zim ran up and pushed Jimmy back down into his chair.

Zim:** Just relax and make a serum,**

**Come up with a brilliant theorem,**

**Take your knife,**

**Create a life,**

Zim and ancestors: **It ain't no fuss!**

Zim and the other Frankenstein elders then moved away from Jimmy and began to dance all throughout the room in an amazing dance that was too exotic for the author to remember a year after seeing it. Sufficient to say, it was very impressive.

After a few minutes of dancing, the Frankenstein ancestors stopped and pulled away, while Zim moved in close to Jimmy and glared down at him.

Zim: **Join the family enterprise,**

**Best be prudent,**

**Best be wise.**

**Time to open up your eyes,**

**Join the family business!**

Ancestors: **Join the family enterprise,**

**Best be prudent,**

**Best be wise.**

**Time to open up your eyes,**

**Join the family business!**

Zim and ancestors: **Join the family enterprise!**

**Best be prudent,**

**Best be wise.**

**Time to open up your eyes,**

**C'mon come clean,**

**Don't make a scene,**

**Your name's not Neutron!**

All the Frankensteins, except for Zim, suddenly ran behind the chair Jimmy was sitting in, and pulled out a giant balloon (think the Macy's Thanksgivings Day parade) designed to look like the stereotypical Frankenstein monster: green skin, square head, bolts in neck, etc.

Ancestors: **Join the family business,**

**Learn the family trade.**

**Make yourself a monster,**

**Make the world afraid!**

**This is one position**

**That you never can resign!**

Zim: **Do not make a fuss.**

**There's nothing to discuss.**

**You must be one of us,**

Zim and ancestors: **Young Frankenstein!**

The ancestors carried that note as they danced off stage… er, out of sight, the way they had danced on, while Zim let out another cackle as he spun back to where he had first appeared. He then vanished in a cloud of smoke identical to the one he had appeared in.

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The smoke cleared to reveal Jimmy lying asleep in the chair, tossing and turning- apparently, everything that had just happened was an incredibly vivid dream. Suddenly, a light appeared as Dani, wearing a nightgown, entered the room. Seeing Jimmy asleep on the chair, she walked over to him, and started gently nudging him to wake him up. "Dr. Neutron? Dr. Neutron?" she said as she shook him.

Jimmy woke up with a start, but calmed down when he saw Dani. "Oh, Dani," he said, slightly out of breath, "I was having the most horrible nightmare. My ancestors assaulted me. They were terrible, awful… but boy, could they dance!" Jimmy paused as he realized he heard something. "Is that violin music?" he asked. "Yes, it woke me up, and I came to see where it was coming from," Dani said.

Jimmy got up from the chair, and cocked his head to the side to better hear the music. "It sounds like it's coming from… behind this wall." He looked up at a bookcase placed against the wall in front of him. He stared at the bookcase for a few moments, and then began pulling books off the selves. "Where is it?" he muttered. "Where's what?" Dani asked. "The triggering mechanism. These secret passages always have one," Jimmy explained. He paused, and then reached towards one particularly large book. "Aha! There you are!" he said as he snatched the book and pulled it off the self.

Nothing happened.

"Okay, maybe that wasn't it," Jimmy said, putting the book down. "Dani, could you pass me that candle please?" he asked, pointing to a candle in a holder attached to the wall next to the bookcase. Dani pulled the candle out- and the bookcase, along with part of the floor it was on, started revolving, taking Jimmy with it. He gave a yelp before he disappeared, the bookcase having performed a 180 degree turn, leaving Jimmy in the wall behind it.

"Dr. Neutron, are you alright?" Dani called to her employer. From behind the bookcase, Jimmy said, "_Put. The candle. Back._" Dani put the candle back in its holder, and the bookcase revolved again, bringing Jimmy back into the room. He smiled, but that turned quickly into a frown as the bookcase continued to revolve, and finally stopped with Jimmy once again behind it. "_Okay_," he said from behind the wall, "_I think I've figured this out. Take the candle back out, and I'll block the bookcase with my body._" Dani took the candle back out, and as the bookcase revolved again, Jimmy ran to the edge where it met the wall, and placed himself between the two.

THUD!!

Dani winced, and then ran up to Jimmy, who was currently crushed between the bookcase and the wall. "Are you alright?" she asked. "Listen to me very carefully," Jimmy said, his voice sounding a little higher than normal due to the condition he was in, "do _not_ put the candle back. Instead, I want you to push against the other end of the bookcase with all your might. Do you understand?" "I think so," Dani replied. "Good," Jimmy said, "Now, on the count of three. One. Two. Three!"

Dani ran up against the bookcase as hard as she could, slamming into it, and making it revolve again. Jimmy popped free from his position, and landed clear of the bookcase- not even noticing that Dani had gotten carried behind the bookcase when it revolved. "Good work, Dani," he said, before realizing that she was nowhere to be seen, "Dani?" "_Put. The candle. Back,_" Dani's voice came from behind the bookcase. Jimmy quickly grabbed the candle from where Dani had set it down on a small table, and put it back in its holder. This time, the bookcase stopped mid-rotation, letting Dani spill back into the room, and revealing a passageway in the wall.

"What is it?" Dani asked. "It looks like a secret passage," Jimmy said, and then paused as he listened closely, "And wherever it goes, that's where the music's coming from. I better investigate." "Please don't leave me here," Dani said, "I don't want to stay here alone." "Alright," Jimmy said, "but we'll need some light." He reached for a candle on the other side of the bookcase, paused, and then quickly grabbed it. When nothing happened, he sighed, and then turned to Dani.

"Let's go," he said, and together they walked into the dark passageway, and out of view.

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**A/N: Wow, this was a lot longer written down than it was in my head. Oh, and I'm sorry if Dani didn't talk enough. I know Inga had more lines in this scene, but I couldn't really remember any of them.**

**BTW, the character Mordecai who has that one line in the song is from the play. I couldn't think of anyone to play him, so I decided to keep him.**

**Next chapter, our heroes find the lab, and we get a love song from a surprising source.**

**Read & review!**


	7. He Was My Boyfriend

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up. My Internet connection went dead for a few days, and then I went on vacation for a week. But I'm back now, and hopefully, this chapter will be long enough to make up for the wait.**

**I should also tell my reviewers (all three of you XP) right now, so you don't flame me, this scene is where the play starts to diverge from the movie.**

**Read on!**

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**Chapter 6:**

** He Was My Boyfriend**

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Jimmy and Dani walked down a winding staircase, the only light coming from the candle Jimmy was holding. As they walked down the stairs, something ran by them underfoot, making a squeaking sound as it did so. "What was that?" Dani asked, clutching close to Jimmy. "Relax, it's just a rat," Jimmy said, then muttered under his breath, "Just a filthy, disgusting, rat." As they turned a corner, they stopped and gasped in shock as they saw a bunch of shelves built into the wall. But the shocking thing wasn't the shelves- it was the fact that the shelves were stacked with human skulls!

"How morbid," was all that Jimmy could think to say as he moved the candle to shed more light on the skulls so he could see them better. They were in various stages of decay- in fact, one looked like it was still intact. Just as Jimmy realized that it looked familiar, it started to sing!

Timmy: **I-**

**Ain't got no body**

**And nobody cares for me**

**Yakka tak ta yakka tak ta ha!**

"Timmy!" Jimmy snapped at his assistant (after jumping ten feet in the air from surprise). "Sorry about that, Doc," Timmy said as he stepped out through a secret door in the wall, "I couldn't resist." "What are you doing down here, anyway?" Dani asked, then paused in thought for a moment, and then asked, "Was that you playing that violin?" "Nah," Timmy said, waving a hand, "I'm more of a French horn kind of person myself. I heard the music from my room, so I took the dumbwaiter down here. Call it a… hunch." On the last part, Timmy patted the hump on his left shoulder and started laughing.

Jimmy and Dani stared at Timmy dryly, and then pushed past him towards the bottom of the staircase. "Hello, what do we have here?" Jimmy said, pointing towards a couple of large switches on the wall. He flipped one, and suddenly, bright lights in the ceiling turned on, illuminating the room and nearly blinding the trio. When their eyesight cleared, they gaped in amazement at what they saw.

They were standing in a huge chamber, filled with machinery. Large banks of computers lined the walls, in some places connected by cables that stretched across the ceiling. Jimmy whistled, clearly impressed with the setup. "So," he said, "This is where they did it." "Look!" Timmy shouted, pointing towards the corner of the room, where a table stood next to a archway covered by a curtain. On top of the table was a violin; clearly the source of the music Jimmy and his friends/assistants had heard. The three of them ran across the room, and as they reached the table, Jimmy picked up the violin and felt it for a moment. "Still warm," he said. "So whoever was playing it couldn't have gotten far," Dani said. "Wait," Timmy said, rubbing his head, "I'm confused." "It's simple," said Jimmy, who put down the violin, and slowly walked towards the curtain, "Someone- or something- was playing this violin, then ran off when we came downstairs. Or maybe," he added as he reached the curtain, "They're still here!" With that, he grabbed the curtain and yanked it back- revealing Gaz in a small side room, pressed up against the wall in an obvious attempt to hide.

"Gaz!" Jimmy shouted- causing the horses somewhere outside the castle to neigh, as usual. "That's right," Gaz said, as she came down from the wall and into the main room, "I'm the someone or something that was playing that music on the violin. That music is in your blood, Herr Doctor, just as it is in the blood of all Frankensteins. Zim used to play it to his monsters."

"Wait a moment!" Jimmy said, a look of realization on his face, "You were playing that music so that we would come down here, didn't you?"

"Yes!" Gaz shouted with a crazy-sounding laugh as she picked up the violin and played a note on it.

"You wanted us to find the lab."

"Yes!" Gaz played another note.

"So I would continue my grandfather's work!"

"Yes!" Another note was played.

"Then that means that you and Zim-"

"Yes! Say it! Say it!" Gaz screamed as she tossed the violin down on the table, "He was… MY BOYFRIEND!"

Jimmy, Timmy and Dani looked at each other, then turned back to Gaz and simultaneously said, "He was your boyfriend?" "You're damn right he was!" Gaz said. "Somehow, I have trouble seeing that," Dani said. "Oh, I admit it wasn't a traditional romance," Gaz said, suddenly very calm as she looked into the distance, obviously lost in thought, "But it was _mine_."

Gaz: **Love comes when you least suspect it,**

**Love dances in your noggin.**

**I thought maybe I could direct it,**

**But I never expected,**

**A guy like **_**him**_**.**

Gaz stalked around the table, putting it between her and Jimmy and his friends, who were staring at her.

Gaz: **He was a bully and a brute,**

**He was as crazy as a coot,**

**Still, I didn't give a hoot!**

**He was my boyfriend!**

**With every woman he would flirt,**

**He always treated me like dirt,**

**But I was happy to be hurt!**

**He was my boyfriend!**

Gaz sat down on the table, her legs dangling off the side as she once again stared into space.

Gaz: **I was as pure as a virgin meadow,**

**Lying with Zim in the dome.**

**Then he turned to me, that charmer,**

**Whispered, "Let's play farmer,"-**

**Then ploughed me 'til the cows came home!**

Gaz laughed madly as she lay down on the table, kicking her legs in the air. "That's a _lot_ of information," Timmy said to Jimmy and Dani, who were wearing matching looks of disgust. Meanwhile, Gaz stopped laughing and sat back up, once again looking at the three.

Gaz: **He was a monster and a beast,**

**His midnight banging's never ceased,**

**It didn't faze me in the least!**

**He was my boyfriend!**

Gaz got down from the table and said, "I'll never forget the day I met Zim. It was on the village green, during the annual _Buchbeer_ festival, where every beer cost a buck. I was an innocent young lamb, and he was a dirty old goat- we were made for each other! All of a sudden, he whipped out his paraphernalia and shouted, 'Let's play croquet!' and off to the field we went! He carried his hoops and mallets, and I carried his balls. What a festival! Fun and games all day long; archery, badminton, potato sack- Zim won the three-legged race… all by himself." Gaz clutched her hands to her chest, as she got all teary-eyed, as she said, "It was love at first sight!"

Gaz: **He was the one I gave my heart to,**

**But we never wed even so;**

**If I mentioned wedlock,**

**He put me in a headlock.**

**When I asked to be his wife,**

**He stabbed me with a kitchen knife!**

**Oh, where did the good times go?!**

**If he had an angry fit,**

**I was the first thing that he hit,**

**But I didn't give a shit!**

**He was my boyfriend!**

As she finished the song, Gaz dropped to her knees and spread her arms out wide, carrying the last note for a good forty or fifty seconds. After she finished, there was an uncomfortable silence in the room, which was broken when Jimmy cleared his throat and said, "Well, that was… disturbing. Now, maybe you could get to why you lured me down here?" Getting back to her feet, Gaz replied, "You said so yourself, Herr Doctor- to finish what your grandfather started, to prove that God is not the only one who can grant life. Follow me." With that, Gaz walked into the side room where she had been hiding, which was revealed to be a small library, with bookshelves stacked against the walls.

"Wait a minute," Jimmy said, looking around, "This is my grandfather's private library! You knew where it was the whole time!" "Of course I did," Gaz snapped, "But you had to find it yourself. Here," she picked up a large, dusty book and handed it to the scientist, "You wanted your grandfather's notes, well there they are." Jimmy looked at the book and read the title aloud, "'How I Did It' by Zim von Frankenstein- oh please, you don't expect me to believe this garbage, do you?" "Just read it," Gaz said, pulling a chair from the table and pushing Jimmy down into it. Jimmy sighed, but opened the book and started reading.

XXXXXXX

_Later that night_

Gaz, Timmy, and Dani sat at the table, looking like they were having trouble staying awake. Jimmy, meanwhile, was mumbling to himself while reading the book- apparently, it wasn't garbage, after all. "'Change the poles from plus to minus, and from minus to plus'," he said, reading aloud from the book, before mumbling to himself some more.

XXXXXXX

_Even later that night_

"Got any fours?" Timmy asked Dani- the two of them and Gaz had decided to pass the time while Jimmy was reading by playing cards. "Go fish," Dani replied. Meanwhile, Jimmy said to himself, while reading the book, "Well, that's not _completely_ impossible…"

XXXXXXX

_Yep, still later that night_

From somewhere, Timmy had dug up a bingo machine, and was now rolling it while Gaz and Dani waited patiently. Finally, he pulled out a ball and said, "B-4!" Before either of the girls could reply, Jimmy started laughing a little crazily. The housekeeper and the two lab assistants looked over at him as he read from the book, "'I alone succeeded in discovering the secret in bestowing life. Nay, even more... I myself, became capable of bestowing animation... upon lifeless matter'!" Jimmy laughed some more, then looked up and shouted, "It. Could. WORK!" "Not 'could'," Gaz said, as she and the others came over to their employer, "It can, and it must!"

"So, we're actually going to try this?" Dani asked. "Told you you'd change your mind," Timmy said, while Jimmy brought the book over to the table and set it down so that everyone could see it. "Listen to what it says here," Jimmy said, pointing to a page in the book and reading, "'As the minuteness of the parts formed a hindrance to my speed, I resolved, therefore, to make the creature of a gigantic stature.'" "So, in other words," said Dani, who seemed to be catching on, "the creature's hands, feet, organs- they would all have to be increased in size." "Exactly," Jimmy said. Dani paused in thought, and then said, "He would have an enormous _schwanstugel_."

There was another uncomfortable silence, before Jimmy shrugged and said, "I suppose that would go without saying." "Woof!" was Dani's only reply. "He's going to be a popular guy," Timmy said. "Yeah," said Jimmy, "but first we have to create him." "It shouldn't be too hard to grab a body," Gaz said, "Zim used to dig them up all the time." "We'll still need an intact brain, though," Jimmy said, but then shrugged, "We'll worry about that later. First we grab the body. Now, listen closely…"

XXXXXXX

Meanwhile, in town, the villagers were having a late-night meeting in the town hall. Davy Jones stood in front of the assembled village and said, "As I'm sure you're all aware, Zim von Frankenstein's grandson has come to the village and moved into the castle, as I warned you would happen." "You called a meeting- in the middle of the night!- just so you could say 'I told you so'?" Yang asked, more than a little angry. "I'm sure there's a better reason than that, Yang," Yin said, rolling her eyes. "Yin is correct," Jones said, "I've called this meeting not to remind you that I saw this coming, but to decide what we are going to do about it now that it has."

"I say we get rid of this guy before he makes another monster!" Raimundo said, earning cheers and applause from the other villagers. "Now, wait a minute," Jones said, holding up his hand, "I am as eager to stop a repeat of our past sufferings as any of you- however, we can not simply start up an angry mob unless we have some proof." "What do you suggest, Captain?" Harry Potter asked. "I believe it is time to do some snooping around Castle Frankenstein," Jones said, "In the meantime, everyone should keep an eye out for anything suspicious: perhaps people moving around late at night, carrying large objects under sheets on wagons."

Unbeknownst to the mutant Chief Inspector, as he was saying this, Jimmy and Timmy were passing by the town hall's window, doing _exactly_ what Jones had just said. Fortunately (or not, depending on how you look at it) the only person to see this was Fred Fredburger, whose short attention span had caused him to stop listening to the conversation a while ago. When he saw the two outside, he began waving at them stupidly. Timmy saw him and waved back- until he remembered what he and his boss were doing, at which point he quickly got back to pushing the wagon off stage… I mean, out of site.

"In conclusion," Jones said, "I think that we should all recite the new law, so we know what to do if and when we prove that Dr. Neutron is following in his grandfather's footsteps." With that, everyone stood up, and together with Captain Jones, recited the new law that had been written after Zim's death, "Whoever creates a monster, shall be hung from the neck, until dead!"

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**A/N: And I'll end that right there. Not quite as long as I had hoped, but I hope you liked it anyway. Also, I should probably mention how, in the play, there's a short song (like, 30 seconds long) at the end of the village meeting scene, but it's not on the soundtrack, and I don't remember it, so I couldn't include it.**

**Next chapter is where Jimmy and co. bring their monster to life (while singing another great song), but I start school next week, so don't expect the next chapter too soon.**

'**Til then, read and review!**


	8. Life, Life

**A/N: Here's the next chapter. Fortunately, I found time to write this before school starts up. In this, we get another of my favorite songs from the show, and, in bigger news, we finally meet my parody of the Creature. I hope you enjoy and appreciate it.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 7:**

** Life, Life**

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The following night (because no night could possibly be _that_ long), Jimmy and the others were getting the lab ready for the reanimation experiment. Gaz was turning a wheel in the wall, causing several pieces of machinery to move into place. "We're doing it, Zim!" she shouted to the heavens, "We're doing it!" Meanwhile, Jimmy and Dani were standing by a platform in the middle of the room, where the body they had taken from the cemetery was lying under a sheet. Jimmy peeked under the sheet and said, "Perfect, now all we need is a brain. Timmy!" "Yes?" Timmy asked, walking over from setting up some of Zim's old equipment.

"Do you have that name I gave you?" Jimmy asked, rubbing his hands together in excitement. "Yep," Timmy replied, "I've gotten it written it down right here." He held out his hand so that Jimmy could see the name he had written down so that he wouldn't forget it. "'Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth'," Jimmy read, "The perfect brain for my creation. Excellent." In happiness, Jimmy slapped Timmy on the shoulder, making a hollow sound. Confused, Jimmy looked up from Timmy's hand to see he had hit him on his hump- which was now on his _right_ shoulder instead of his left!

"Didn't that use to be on your other side?" Jimmy asked. "Didn't what use to be on my other side?" Timmy asked, looking as confused as Jimmy felt. "Your, uh… oh, never mind," Jimmy said, waving it off, "Just get the brain- and hurry, there's a storm coming, and we'll need it to bring our creature to life. Now go!" "Yes, Master!" Timmy said, bowing then quickly dashing out of the room.

XXXXXXX

Shortly after, Timmy broke into the Brain Depository of the village morgue, grabbing the brain of Professor Farnsworth. As he made his way outside, he stopped as he saw a quarter on the ground. Grinning, he bent over and picked it up, not noticing the brain fall out of the topless glass case it was in.

Pocketing the quarter, Timmy started to walk away- before realizing that the brain was gone. Panicking, he started running around in circles looking for it. He stopped as he felt something squish under his foot. Gulping, Timmy looked down and saw that he had stepped on the brain! "Eeep!" Timmy said, dropping the now-empty glass case and rushing back into the Depository. Quickly grabbing another brain, Timmy dashed back out and headed back towards the castle. If only he'd looked at the label on the case more carefully…

XXXXXXX

Some time later, back at the castle, everything was nearly set up for the experiment, as a terrible storm raged outside. Jimmy and Dani, now wearing lab coats, were looking down at their creation. "He's hideous," Dani said after a few moments. "No, he's beautiful- and I mean that platonically," Jimmy said, "Just imagine it, Hubert Farnsworth's brain in this body… I think I'll call him Ed." "Why Ed?" Dani asked. "I don't know," Jimmy replied, shrugging, "He just looks like an Ed, you know?"

There was a flash of lightning, followed by a clap of thunder, and Jimmy turned his attention up towards an opening in the ceiling (which the platform holding the body was attached to via cables), and called out, "Timmy!" Timmy, who was wearing a yellow rain slicker and hat, turned away from attaching a kite to the platform/cable apparatus and shouted down into the lab, "Yeah?"

"Are you set up yet?" Jimmy asked.

"Almost… are you sure this is how they did it?"

"Yes, yes, it's all in the notes. Now hurry up!"

"What's the hurry?"

"There's a chance of electrocution!" Jimmy shouted, and waited for a response. When none came, he shouted, "Did you hear me? I said there's a chance of electrocution!" "Yeah, yeah, I heard you," Timmy said from his spot right next to Jimmy, "Why are you shouting?" Jimmy and Dani did a double take, looking from Timmy to the ceiling opening and back. "How did…?" Dani asked, shock written all over her face. "D-did you set up the equipment like I said?" Jimmy stuttered, trying to move past his surprise.

"Yes, Master," Timmy said. "Good man," Jimmy muttered, still confused. He patted Timmy on the shoulder- and received a hollow sound due to the fact that he had patted the hump, which was back on Timmy's _left_ shoulder! Jimmy and Dani looked at each other, turned back to Timmy as if they were going to ask why his hump kept moving, then changed their minds. "Just get in place," Jimmy said, pointing towards a large bank of switches off to the side that Gaz was standing next to. As Timmy got into position, Jimmy turned to Dani and said, "It's time. Prepare to elevate me." "What? You mean, now?" Dani asked, looking slightly embarrassed. Jimmy raised an eyebrow at her and said, "Yes. Prepare to elevate the platform." "Oh, right! The platform!" Dani said, blushing slightly- she'd been thinking of elevating him _another_ way.

Dani moved over to a large red button in a machine on the opposite side of the room from the switch bank Timmy and Gaz were standing next to. Jimmy looked down at the face of his creation and softly said to himself, "So, now we throw the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of Death itself."

Jimmy: **Ever since the beginning of Time,**

**When life arose from primeval slime,**

**Death has ruled without question,**

**Death has ruled supreme.**

**Without the least suggestion,**

**That Man could foil its scheme.**

**But now we call on science,**

**To end Death's evil reign.**

**We shout in brave defiance,**

**This soul shall live again!**

**Life, life,**

**Let my creature live.**

**Life, life,**

**It's life that you must give.**

**Fate, fate,**

**Through this storm and strife.**

**Fate, fate,**

**Give my creature life!**

**Tear the night asunder,**

**Cast your light upon the dark.**

**Your lightning bolts and thunder**

**Will ignite a mortal spark!**

**Life, life,**

**Hail the break of dawn.**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani:_Hail__** the break of dawn,**_

Jimmy: **Let my dream be born,**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _**Let the dream be born,**_

Jimmy: **Fate, fate,**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _Fate, fate,_

Jimmy: **Through the storm and strife,**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _**Through the storm and strife,**_

Jimmy:** Fate, fate,**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _Fate, fate,_

Jimmy: **Give my creature life.**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _**Give our creature life,**_

Jimmy: **Give my creature life!**

_Boom_! A crash of thunder nearly deafened everyone in the room as lightning flashed directly over the castle, striking the equipment on the roof. "This is it," Jimmy said, "Timmy, throw the first switch!" "Yes, Master!" Timmy said as he threw the first switch in the machine, causing sparks to fly from several machines.

Jimmy: **Life, life!**

**Give my creature life!**

**Give my creature life!**

"Now, throw the second switch!"

"Yes, Master!" As Timmy threw the second switch, electricity flashed from machine to machine all over the room.

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: **Give our creature life!**

Jimmy:** Tear the night asunder,**

**Cast your light upon the dark!**

**The lightning bolts and thunder**

**Will ignite a mortal spark!**

"Now, Timmy!" Jimmy shouted, "Throw the third switch!" "Not the third switch!" Timmy said in fear- that could cause the equipment to overload! "Yes! The third switch! Throw it, damn you!" Jimmy shouted insanely, "Throw it!" "Yes, Master!" Timmy said, now more afraid of what his employer would do to him if he _didn't_ than what would happen if he _did_.

He threw the switch, causing sparks to fly from every machine in the room; electricity flashed in every corner, causing several pieces of equipment to blow. Jimmy didn't seem to notice, as he turned to Dani and shouted, "Dani! NOW!"

Dani hit the red button on her machine, activating the cable apparatus and pulling the platform (and Jimmy) up into the air. Bolts of electricity shot from the machines on the roof to the machines in the lab, from those machines into the platform, and from the platform into the dead body.

Jimmy: **Give me life!**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _**Hail**__** the break of dawn,**_

Jimmy: **Hail**** the break of dawn!**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _**Let the dream be born,**_

Jimmy: **Let my dream be born!**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _**Through the storm and strife,**_

Jimmy: **Through the storm and strife,**

**Through the windswept air!**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _**Through the windswept air,**_

Jimmy: **Listen to my prayer!**

Gaz, Timmy, Dani: _**Listen to his prayer,**_

Jimmy: **Stir its brain!**

**Let breathing start!**

**Let me hear its beating heart!**

All: **Give my/our creature life!**

On the last note, millions of sparks rained down on the assistants. "Okay, that's it!" Jimmy shouted down, "Lower the platform!" Dani hit the red button, lowering the platform, as Timmy and Gaz threw the switches back into their off positions. When the platform reached the floor, all three assistants rushed over.

Jimmy pressed a stethoscope against Ed's chest, pounded on it for a few moments, and then listened again. Finally, he just sagged in defeat. "Nothing," he said mournfully. "I don't get it," Gaz said, "It always worked for Zim- and he couldn't even sing!" "I'm so sorry, Doctor," Dani said, putting a hand on Jimmy's shoulder. However, he just shrugged it off. "It's okay," he said, "If science has taught us anything, it's to accept our failures the same as our accomplishments: With quiet, dignity, and grace."

Jimmy started walking away, the others following him- then he spun around and grabbed Ed's corpse by the neck, shaking him violently and shouting, "YOU STUPID FAILURE! WHY DIDN'T IT WORK?!" "Doctor, stop!" Dani shouted as she and the others tried to pull the frantic scientist off his creation. "I DON'T WANT TO LIVE!" Jimmy shouted as his assistants pulled him away from the platform, "MOMMY!" As he sagged in their arms, Timmy turned towards the audience and said, "Quiet, dignity, and grace, huh?"

After a few moments, Jimmy calmed down, and pulled away from his assistants. "I'm okay, I'm okay," he said, as he straightened out his lab coat and smoothed his hair. He looked at Ed on the table and sighed. "Oh well," he said, "Maybe the poor thing's better off dead." "You're just giving up?" Gaz asked, as Jimmy walked past her towards the staircase. "It didn't work," Jimmy said as he, Timmy and Dani started walking upstairs, "I don't know what else we can do."

"Mhmmm,"

"What was that?" Dani asked, looking for the source of the noise they had all just heard. "Probably just our imaginations," Jimmy said- although he didn't sound too convinced himself.

"Mhmmm!"

"Our imaginations, my ass!" Gaz said, pointing towards the platform, "He's alive!" She was then nearly run over as Jimmy, Dani and Timmy rushed down the stairs and back towards Ed. Jimmy looked down at his creation and then did what his grandfather had done every time he succeeded in making a monster- he shouted to the heavens, "It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!" Turning his attention back to Ed, he said softly, "Hello, there. I'm going to let you go now, understand?" Ed nodded, and Jimmy started undoing the straps holding the reanimated corpse in place. When he was done, he said, "Now, I want you to stand up."

Ed struggled for a few moments, but managed to sit up and step down from the platform. This allowed everyone to get their first good look at him: He was a tall, yellow-skinned young man, who had a unibrow and no chin. He was wearing blue jeans, and a red-and-white striped shirt over which he wore a green jacket (A/N: in case you haven't realized it yet, this is Ed from _Ed, Edd, n Eddy_).

Jimmy began backing away from Ed, keeping his eye on him as he did so. "Now," he said, "I want you to walk towards me." Ed began to do so, stumbling forward with his arms outstretched. "Doctor," said Dani, who was standing back with Timmy and Gaz, "I'm afraid." "Don't be," Jimmy said, as he continued to slowly lead Ed around the room, "There's nothing to be alarmed about." Just then, Timmy popped a congratulatory cigar in his mouth, and struck a match to light it. Ed saw the flame and immediately began freaking out, screaming and throwing his arms about in the air.

"What is it? What's- ARAGH!" Jimmy began to ask, before being cut off as Ed grabbed him by the throat and began choking him. As his assistants ran over to help him, he managed to shout, "Quick! Give him the-" before the pressure on his throat increased and he began choking again. "Give him the what?" Gaz asked. Jimmy, unable to say what he needed, slapped three fingers against his arm. "Three syllables," said Dani, realizing that Jimmy was going to charade what he needed.

Jimmy put a hand to his ear, then pointed to his head. "Sounds like head," said Timmy. "Red, bed, said," Gaz said, trying to guess the word. Jimmy waved his hand at "said" to indicate that was the right word, then held up two fingers. "Second syllable," said Dani. Jimmy held his thumb and forefinger a small distance apart. "Small word," said Gaz, "it, the, a." Jimmy waved his hand again when she said "a." "Said-a," Dani said, trying to figure out what Jimmy was trying to say. "A dirty word! He said a dirty word!" shouted Timmy, who thought he had it figured out.

Despite running out of air, Jimmy found time to glare at his idiotic assistant before raising three fingers. "Third syllable," Dani said, now getting frantic, as she saw Jimmy turning blue from lack of oxygen. Jimmy put his hand to his ear. "Sounds like," Gaz said, also getting frantic. Jimmy held his hands near his chest then held them out. "Sounds like 'give'," said Dani. "Said-a-give?" asked Gaz. "FLY 'EM ON DOWN TO RIO!" shouted Timmy suddenly, causing everyone (including Ed, who kept his hands on Jimmy's throat) to stop and stare at him. Then, Dani said, "Oh, he means _sedative_!" With that, she grabbed a needle off a nearby instrument table and jammed it into Ed's neck. Ed gave a yelp, then collapsed, unconscious.

Gaz and Timmy pulled him off Jimmy and placed him back on the platform, while Dani helped Jimmy to his feet. "Are you okay, Dr. Neutron?" she asked, very concerned. Jimmy took a few deep breaths, then shouted, "FLY 'EM ON DOWN TO RIO?!" while glaring at Timmy. "Don't look at me," Timmy said, "I don't get it either, but it's in the script." "Are you sure you're alright?" Dani asked again. "Yes," Jimmy said, sitting down in a chair off to the side, "Would you excuse me a moment, dear? I need to talk to Timmy in private." As Dani walked away, Jimmy said, " Oh, Timmy. Would you come here, please?" "Of course," Timmy said, walking over.

"Please, sit," said Jimmy. "Okay," Timmy said as he sat down on the floor. "No, no," Jimmy said, pointing to another chair, "I meant there." "Oh, thank you," Timmy said, getting up and sitting in the chair. "Now then," Jimmy said, crossing his legs, "That brain you gave me- it wasn't Hubert Farnsworth's, was it?" "Uh, _no_," Timmy said, shuffling uncomfortably in the chair. "Ah," said Jimmy, still acting very calm, "So, would you mind telling me whose brain I _did_ use?" "You won't get mad?" Timmy asked, swallowing a lump in his throat. "I will not get mad," Jimmy said, still the perfect picture of calm. "Abby someone," Timmy said, trying to remember the label he had quickly read in the Brain Depository. "Abby someone?" Jimmy asked, "Abby who?" After a few moments, Timmy said, "Abby… Normal." "Abby Normal?" Jimmy asked. "I'm almost positive that was the name," Timmy said.

Jimmy began chuckling, then put an arm around Timmy's shoulders and said, "So you're saying that I installed an abnormal brain in a seven-and-a-half foot long, fifty-four inch wide…" All of a sudden, Jimmy grabbed Timmy by the throat and began choking him, "GORILLA?! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME!" "Quick!" Timmy shouted to Gaz and Dani as they ran over, "Give him the-" But he was cut off as he began to choke.

"The what?" Dani asked. Timmy slapped three fingers against his arm. "Okay, three syllables," Gaz said. But before they could repeat the whole process, loud banging was heard. "What's that?" Jimmy asked as he let go of Timmy, the reason for his anger already forgotten. "Sounds like someone's at the door," Gaz said. "At this time of night?" Dani asked. Jimmy turned to Gaz and said, "Stay down here and keep an eye on that thing- and keep him strapped down!" With that, he started walking towards the stairs, saying over his shoulder, "Timmy, Dani, come with me. We're going to meet whoever's outside. But first, we need to get cleaned up. We need to look normal, _absolutely_ normal!"

With that, Jimmy, Timmy and Dani rushed up the stairs and out of the lab. Gaz sighed and turned back to Ed. She stroked his head, and softly said, "Don't worry, I won't let them hurt you. I'm going to help you."

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**A/N: Okay, that's where this chapter ends. In the play, there's a short reprise of "He Was My Boyfriend" at the end of that last scene, but again, it's not on the soundtrack, and I don't remember it.**

**Next chapter's going to take a while, seeing as I start college on Monday (yes, I'm that old and I'm writing cartoon fanfiction. So sue me.), and my schedule's going to be pretty busy. But on the bright side, we're up to the Act I finale, so the next chapter's going to be a long one.**

**Until then, read and review!**


	9. Transylvania Mania

**A/N: Welcome to the next chapter, and Act I Finale, of 'Young Frankenstein: The Toon Musical'. I would have gotten this up sooner, but I've just been too busy with college. Hopefully, this chapter will make up for the wait. Also, this chapter will actually be containing two songs, because the first one is rather short.**

**On a side note to Anonymous But Interested: that is a pretty good suggestion, and I will certainly try to include it. We'll see what happens.**

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**Chapter 8:**

** Transylvania Mania**

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Outside the castle, where the storm had conveniently stopped, the villagers had gathered to snoop around, in order to find evidence that Jimmy was continuing his grandfather's work. However, in order to hide their true intentions, they were acting like they had come to welcome him to Transylvania. Davy Jones had even gone so far as to hire a band and a barbershop quartet to do a little performance. When Jimmy, Timmy, and Dani exited the castle, Jones signaled the band, which started playing.

As the music started, the quartet, which consisted of a fat man named Peter Griffin, a thin man named Quagmire, a black man with a mustache named Cleveland, and a man in a wheelchair named Joe (all from _Family Guy_), started singing.

Quartet: **Welcome to Transylvania,**

Peter, Quagmire: **We're very happy that you're here,**

Cleveland, Joe:** So glad you're here.**

Quartet: **Welcome to Transylvania,**

**We greet you with a mighty cheer-**

**Halujnik!**

Davy Jones: **We're considered both a death and a-**

Davy Jones and Quartet: **Tourist Trap!**

Quartet: **Thanks to all you Frankensteins,**

**You put us on the map!**

**So,**

**Welcome to Transylvania!**

Davy Jones: **Though vampires suck your blood at night,**

**And werewolves prowl in the pale moonlight,**

Davy Jones and Quartet: **And zombies have a tendency to roam,**

Peter, Quagmire: **It's the place,**

Cleveland, Joe: **Oh it's the place,**

Quartet: **We humbly call,**

Peter: **Home!**

Quagmire: **Home!**

Cleveland: **Home!**

Joe: **Home!**

Davy Jones: **Home!**

Davy Jones and Quartet: **Transylvania!**

The villagers, Jimmy, and his friends applauded as Jones and the quartet finished up their song. "Well, thank you for that, Captain Jones," Jimmy said, attempting to cover his nervousness, "But you didn't need to go to all this trouble." "You're darn right we didn't!" Yang snapped from the crowd. Yin smacked him upside the head to shut him up before he blew their cover. Jones ignored the rabbit duo as he turned to Jimmy and said, "Oh, it's no trouble at all, Dr. Frankenstein."

"Neutron," Jimmy, Timmy, and Dani corrected. When Jones raised an eyebrow (or whatever he has), Jimmy explained, "I had it legally changed." "Can't imagine why," Raimundo muttered sarcastically to Harry Potter, who nodded in agreement. "As I was saying," Jones said, "We don't mind at all, Dr. Neutron. We're happy to welcome a member of such a… _prestigious_ family as yours to our village. Aren't we?" He directed that last part towards the villagers, who all nodded with forced smiles on their faces. Turning back to Jimmy, Jones said, "Well, it's rather chilly out tonight. What do you say we go inside the castle?" Jones grinned as he said that, and several of the villagers smirked- this was their opportunity to get inside the castle and look for evidence.

"You don't want to go inside," Jimmy said quickly. "Oh?" Jones asked, crossing his arms, "Why not?" "Um, uh," Jimmy said, trying to come up with a reason the villagers couldn't go into the castle. "The castle's dirty!" Timmy blurted out. "Yeah," Dani said, nodding her agreement, "It's the maid's day off." Jones opened his mouth to say something- but was cut off when a loud moan was heard coming from the castle. The villagers all turned to look at the castle, talking excitedly and nervously to each other.

Jimmy turned to Timmy and whispered, "Ed's awake! Timmy, we need to come up with some kind of diversion and fast, before-" Jimmy was cut off as Ed let out another moan, bringing on another chorus of excited chatter from the villagers. Before any of them could begin accusing Jimmy of anything, Timmy grabbed an accordion from one of the band members, and made it sound like he was making the moaning sounds. When everyone's attention was on him, he began playing the accordion.

Timmy: **Forget about the foxtrot,**

**Throw away the waltz,**

**Take away the two-step,**

**And all that other smutz.**

Ed let out another moan, but Timmy quickly copied the moaning sounds again, keeping everyone's attention on him, and carried on with the song.

Timmy: **Are you ready,**

**For what's been going on?**

Once again, Ed moaned, and once again, Timmy copied it.

Timmy:** It's a doozy,**

**Makes you woozy,**

**It's the new phenomenon.**

Suddenly, Timmy tossed the accordion away, jumped up on to a gated wall, and started singing at a faster pace.

Timmy: **Have you heard about the mania?**

**If not then let me explain-ia.**

**Yes, sir!**

**It's the Transylvania Mania.**

**Whether you're in Ruritania,**

**Or a dance hall in Albania,**

**Yes, sir!**

**It's the Transylvania Mania!**

**Everybody who's been viewing it,**

**Can't resist its appeal.**

**Everybody's out there doing it,**

**Millionaire and schlemiel!**

Timmy jumped off the gated wall, and danced around the crowd of villagers.

Timmy: **So join the fun,**

**Let's all be zania,**

**Even Liths in Lithuania**

**Love it!**

**It's the latest rage!**

Timmy ran over to Jimmy and Dani and winked at them, before continuing on.

Timmy: **Lose the blues**

**And don't complain-ia,**

**Hit the dance floor,**

**Feel no pain-ia,**

**Love it!**

**Do the Transylvania Mania!**

At this point, Jimmy and Dani stepped in, having decided to get involved with the distraction.

Jimmy:** Just accept it,**

**Don't refrain-ia,**

Dani: **Don't resist,**

**It's all in vain-ia,**

Timmy: **Come on kids,**

**Let's raise some Cain-ia!**

Jimmy, Dani, Timmy: **Yes, sir,**

**Yes, sir,**

**It's the latest craze!**

With that, the three of them started demonstrating the Transylvania Mania- by which the author means they began improvising, seeing as there was no such dance. The villagers watched in amazement as the three of them started alternating between waving their arms about, and walking like zombies with their arms outstretched. After a few moments, the villagers also started dancing, completely forgetting why they were there in the first place. Well, most of them, anyway…

"What are you idiots doing?!" Jones snapped at the villagers, "We're supposed to be snooping!" But the villagers ignored Jones and kept dancing.

"Ahhh!" Ed moaned.

All: **Ahhh!**

"Ahhh!"

All: **Ahhh!**

Jimmy: **It's a cherry pie without the pits,**

Dani: **It's a weekend spent in Biarritz,**

Timmy: **It's all the rage with the French and Brits,**

All three: **The Transylvania Mania!**

Jimmy: **It's the newest quip from Algonquin Wits,**

Dani: **It's the winning horse that never quits,**

Timmy:** It's Paprikash with an ice cold Schlitz,**

All: **Do the Transylvaniz Mania!**

**The Transylvania Mania!**

Jimmy, Dani, Timmy: **It's southern fried with a side of grits,**

Villagers: **It's Baptists, Jews and Jesuits!**

Dani and Timmy: **It's an etude played by Horowitz,**

Jimmy: **It's Irving Berlin's "Puttin' On the Ritz"!**

Ed let out a few more moans, but Timmy drowned it out with a couple of blasts on his French horn (remember? He said he was a "French horn person"). By this point, everyone was dancing, even Jones. At one point, everyone stood back and watched as the Captain did an impromptu dance routine similar to "The Robot". Then, everyone started dancing together, the whole crowd moving in one big block.

All: **Have you heard about the mania?**

**If not then let me explain-ia.**

**Yes, sir!**

**It's the Transylvania Mania.**

**Whether you're in Ruritania,**

**Or a dance hall in Albania,**

**Yes, sir!**

**It's the Transylvania Mania!**

**Rich and poor are all soft-shoeing it,**

**In hotels or huts.**

**Even dogs are busy doing it,**

**Pedigreed and mutts!**

Men: **All the devils in Tasmania**

**Shake their tails and go insane-ia,**

All: **Love it!**

**It's the latest rage!**

Women:** Grab a steamship or a plane-ia**

**To the heart of old Romania,**

All: **Love it!**

**Yeah, you've got to love it!**

**Do the Transylvania…**

**Mania!**

As the song finished, Jimmy breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at his friends. They had successfully distracted the villagers, which meant their secret was safe for now. Suddenly there was a crashing sound, and everyone turned in shock to see Ed bursting through the front doors of the castle, followed closely by Gaz. "He's free!" she cackled, "I've set him free!" Gaz's laughter was cut off as Ed slammed into the villagers, sending some of them flying. "Oops," Gaz said.

The crowd dispersed, people screaming and running all over the place. Ed ran around wildly, until he ran up to Jones, who stood his ground, glaring at Ed. Ed stared at him for a minute, then with a yell, he grabbed Jones' crab arm and yanked it out of the socket. He then threw it into the air and ran off. Fred Fredburger grabbed the limb and started tossing it up and down in the air, laughing like the idiot he was.

"Stop! Stop!" Jimmy shouted, running up to Ed. However, the creation knocked his creator aside, and ran off into the night. Dani, Timmy, and Gaz ran over to Jimmy, who was on his knees, watching Ed disappear in the distance. "Jimmy, are you alright?" Dani asked. "We have to stop him," Jimmy said, as he frantically grabbed onto Dani and Timmy, "Don't you understand? We have to stop him and bring him back before he kills someone!" Jimmy's eyes turned skyward as he brought his hands to his mouth. "Oh, God," he said, "What have I done?!"

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**A/N: And that's the end of Act I. Once again, I apologize for the wait, and I feel I should warn you; it's going to be a while before I get the next chapter up.**

**Also, I need character suggestions. When Cindy comes back in Act II, she has an entourage: Nails, hair, makeup, wardrobe, astrologer. I've really got no idea who to cast as these people. Any ideas?**

**In any case, read & review!**


	10. He's Loose

**A/N: I once again apologize for the long wait between chapters, but I've just been swamped with schoolwork. Plus, this chapter's kind of short, as the scene itself was short in the play. BTW, special thanks to Anonymous But Interested for the suggestions. I will definitely use some of them.**

**With that out of the way, enjoy the first chapter of Act II of 'Young Frankenstein: the Toon Musical.'**

**Disclaimer (which I've been forgetting to put up the last few chapters): See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 9:**

** He's Loose**

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Fog covered the forest upon the mountains surrounding Castle Frankenstein and the village. After a few moments, a figure could be seen moving through the fog. The figure soon came into a clearing, where it was revealed to be Timmy, who was carrying a giant butterfly net. "Come on out, you big, stupid thing!" Timmy shouted. Jimmy had ordered him and Gaz to find Ed while Dani stayed with the doctor himself, to try and find a way to fix Ed.

When Ed didn't appear out of the fog, Timmy muttered under his breath, "There's got to be an easier way to do this." He then ran off in a random direction, hoping to catch Ed before the villagers did.

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Speaking of the villagers, in another part of the forest, a large mob of them was marching through the fog, pitchforks and torches in hand.

Yang: **He's loose!**

Raimundo: **He's loose!**

Harry Potter: **He's loose!**

Yang: **He's loose!**

Raimundo: **He's loose!**

Harry Potter: **He's loose!**

Yang: **He's loose!**

Raimundo: **He's loose!**

Harry Potter: **He's loose!**

All three:** He's loose!**

**He's loose!**

**He's loose!**

Davy Jones walked to the front of the mob. As the person with the most experience in dealing with Frankenstein monsters, he had been the one to organize the mob. Now, he decided to rile up the villagers- the angrier and afraid they were, the more likely they were to hunt down and destroy the monster.

Jones: **They released a horror,**

**They released a fright!**

**Lurking in the darkness,**

**Waiting in the night!**

**For this act of madness,**

**There is no excuse!**

**Don't you see?**

**He is free!**

All: **He's loose,**

**He's loose,**

**He's loose!**

Jones: **He will sack our village,**

**He will break our backs!**

**He will rape and pillage,**

**Stop him in his tracks!**

Male villagers: **Catch him by the neck,**

Female villagers: **Put it in a noose!**

All: **Can't you see?**

**He is free!**

**He's loose,**

**He's loose,**

**He's loose!**

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In yet another part of the forest, familiar music could be heard as a figure came out of the fog. It was Gaz, who was playing on her violin in attempt to lure out Ed. "Here, Ed!" she shouted, "I won't hurt you!" When nothing happened, Gaz cursed and ran off, still playing the music that had always been soothing for Zim's monsters.

XXXXXX

Back with the villagers, they were now practically foaming at the mouth in their eagerness to hunt down Ed.

Villagers: **Search the marshes,**

**Every glade and glen!**

**Catch the monster**

**Before he strikes again!**

Jones: **Bar your windows,**

**Lock your dwellings,**

**Hello heartaches,**

**Goodbye Kvellings, **(A/N: No, I don't know what that means)

**Everyone!**

**Everyone!**

Villagers: **Search each hill and valley,**

**Find which way he fled!**

**Comb each street and alley,**

**Or else we'll all be dead!**

Jones: **He's loose!**

**He's loose!**

All: **He's loose!**

**He's loose!**

**He's loose!**

**He's loose!**

**He's loose!**

On that last note, the villagers scattered, splitting into groups to cover more ground and find Ed. Of course, if any of them had bothered to turn around, they would have seen he was standing _right behind them_.

Ed watched, confused, as the villagers ran off into the night. Shrugging, he ran off as well. Once again, the only person to see him was Fred Fredburger, who watched him disappear into the fog. He opened his mouth as if to shout something to the others… but then closed his mouth and shook his head. "Nah," he said, waving his hand.

With that he ran off after Jones and the other villagers.

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**A/N: Huh, that turned out longer than I thought it would. Hope you all enjoyed it.**

**P.S. I still need suggestions for Cindy's entourage. I also need suggestions for the blind hermit. Please PM me or suggest in your reviews.**

**Read and review!**


	11. Listen to Your Heart

**A/N: Well, good news: I got a couple of days off from school (speaking of which, happy New Year to my fellow Jews!), so I was able to work on this chapter. Hope you enjoy.**

**Anonymous But Interested: That is actually a pretty good suggestion. I think I'd have fun with it.**

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**Chapter 10:**

** Listen To Your Heart**

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Back at the castle, Jimmy burst into the basement laboratory, throwing on a lab coat as he did so. Dani ran down the steps after Jimmy, also throwing on a lab coat. As soon as they reached the bottom of the stairs, Jimmy ran towards the small library in the corner and grabbed his grandfather's personal notes. He flipped through them, sweating and shaking nervously as he did so. "Come on, come on," he muttered. "What are you looking for?" Dani asked, as she stood by the lab platform.

"An explanation," Jimmy said, before finding a particular page and stopping at it. After reading for a few moments, he cursed under his breath. "What's wrong?" Dani asked. "According to this," Jimmy said, "Because my grandfather used an abnormal brain- the same mistake we made, ironically- there was a chemical imbalance in his creature's brain fluids, which lead it to go on it's homicidal rampage. Assuming the same thing is happening with Ed, we just need to find a way to balance out those brain chemicals. But how? _How_?!"

Dani watched Jimmy obsessively flip through the book full of scientific notes, muttering to himself and pulling at his hair. She knew at the rate this was going, he was either going to drive himself crazy, or work himself to death trying to find an answer. She had to distract him… and she had a pretty good idea how. She leaned back against the platform in a suggestive manner. "Maybe," she said, "You should lay off the thinking for a little while."

Jimmy shook his head. "No, no," he said, "Thinking's the whole reason we have a brain. I can't just ignore it. What else is there…?" He trailed off as he looked up from the notes and saw Dani smirking at him.

Dani: **Let's forget about thinking,**

**Thinking's never smart,**

**Flush your brain right down the drain,**

**And listen to your heart!**

**Let's be a couple of dumbbells,**

**Dumb right from the start.**

**Lose your mind, 'cause love is blind,**

**And listen to your heart!**

Dani spun around the platform, sitting down on the end facing Jimmy, lifting one of her legs suggestively.

Dani:** Let's be stupid together,**

**Not a thought in our head,**

**Birdbrains of a feather,**

**Who'll fly right into bed!**

Dani got up and slowly walked behind Jimmy, who was watching the whole thing in stunned silence. She wrapped her arms around him as she continued to sing.

Dani: **Let's be totally foolish,**

**Two nitwits never apart.**

**You'll find such bliss in,**

**The kissin' you're missin'.**

**So listen, listen to your heart!**

Dani slipped one of her hands under Jimmy's lab coat, and starting opening and closing her hand, mimicking a heartbeat. She then took the notebook from Jimmy and slowly closed it, placing it on a nearby table. She then pushed Jimmy down onto the table, and started talking to him slowly, as if lecturing him.

Dani: **As everybody knows,**

**If it's sex they're thinking of,**

**Intellectuals are ineffectuals,**

**When it comes to making love.**

**Nietzsche always said he wouldn't,**

**Schopenhauer thought he shouldn't,**

**And as for Immanuel Kant-**

**Every girl in town knew that Kant,**

**Couldn't.**

Dani spun around Jimmy a few times, before settling herself in his lap. She grabbed a stethoscope that he was wearing around his neck, and sang into it.

Dani:** Listen to your heart!**

She got up again, twirling away. This time, Jimmy got up and followed her, all thoughts of research gone from his mind. He followed Dani around the room, until she gently pushed him down onto the platform.

Dani: **Listen to your heart!**

**Let's be blithering idiots,**

**Singing love's sweet song.**

**We'll blither every morning,**

**And blither all night long!**

With a smile, Dani quickly walked over to a familiar red button. She pushed it, then quickly ran back over to the platform and jumped on it as it started lifting into the air. Grinning, she crawled over to Jimmy.

Dani: **Let's find things undiscovered,**

**Don't resist Cupid's dart.**

**You'll find such joy,**

**Just by being a boy,**

**So listen, listen to your heart!**

Jimmy and Dani snuggled together; pulling a sheet that was on the platform over them as the platform rose up and out of sight.

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**A/N: And that is that. You would not believe how difficult it was to write this chapter, as I do not remember the scene **_**at all**_**. Anyway, it's written, so no use in complaining.**

**BTW, this is your last chance to suggest people for Cindy's entourage. I have a pretty good idea of whom I'm using, but it doesn't hurt to ask.**

**Tune in next time, when Jimmy and co. get an unpleasant surprise from a familiar face.**

**Read and review!**


	12. Surprise

**A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long to update. I have just been swamped with schoolwork lately. God I hate college… Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Oh, and thanks to everyone who suggested people for Cindy's entourage.**

**Disclaimer: See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 11:**

** Surprise!**

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A while later, Gaz and Timmy ran into the laboratory. "Dr. Neutron!" Gaz shouted, "We've looked everywhere for Ed, but we couldn't…" She trailed off as she realized that Jimmy and Dani were nowhere to be seen. "That's strange," she said, scratching her head, "I could have sworn they down here." Suddenly, several pieces of Jimmy and Dani's clothing fluttered down from up above and landed on the floor next to the hunchback and the housekeeper.

Curious, the two of them walked over and picked up the clothes, then looked up and could just barely see something moving up on the platform. "What could they be doing up there?" Gaz asked, even though she had a pretty good idea. "Well," Timmy said, "I think he's performing an experiment on the female anatomy- and she's assisting his brains out!"

The two of them then turned to each other and then said the one thing that you should never, never, _never,_ under _any_ circumstances, EVER say.

"What else could go wrong?!"

And of course, the minute they said that, the door to the lab burst open. Gaz and Timmy looked up to see none other than Cindy!

Cindy: **It's me!**

**It's me!**

**It's me, it's me,**

**It's,**

**Me, me, me, me, me!**

**Me, me, me, me, me!**

**Me.**

As she sang, Cindy walked quickly down the stairs until she was standing in between Gaz and Timmy, the latter of whom was drooling while staring at her. They looked at her for a moment, before Gaz asked, "And who are, 'You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. You'?" Cindy simply flicked her hair and said, "Why, I'm Cindy Vortex, Dr. Neutron's adorable madcap fiancée. I'm sure he's spoken of me day and night."

"Never."

"Oh," Cindy sighed, and then said, "Well, who are you, anyway?" Then, she noticed Timmy staring at her, making whimpering noises like a dog for a piece of meat. "And, _what_ is that?" "Oh, that's just Timmy, the doctor's personal assistant," Gaz said. Suddenly, Timmy latched onto Cindy and started yelping like a puppy. "Timmy! Heel!" Gaz shouted, causing the love struck hunchback to back off. "Anyway, like I was saying, that is Timmy, and I'm the housekeeper…" Gaz trailed off as she remembered what happened every time she said her name. She looked around, and then mouthed her name at Cindy.

The horses outside neighed, right on schedule.

"Damn it! Never mind." "No wonder you've never heard of me, then," Cindy said, snootily putting her nose in the air, "Jimmy wouldn't waste his breath describing me to lowly servants." "Well, let me warn you," Gaz said, ignoring the insult, "Dr. Neutron may not be very happy with this little surprise."

"Au contraire," Cindy said with a smirk.

Cindy: **Everybody loves to get a surprise,**

**Life can be so dull without a surprise.**

**When your spirit's dragging,**

**And you're oh so blue,**

**It all can change,**

**If the fates arrange,**

**A nice surprise for you!**

**All the world enjoys a lovely surprise,**

**Life's a chore, a bore without a surprise.**

**When everything seems hopeless,**

**Then you realize,**

**There's nothing like a wonderful surprise!**

Suddenly, several voices shouted out, "Miss Vortex!" as a small group of people entered the not-so-secret lab, carrying several bags and pieces of luggage.

One was a girl with big red eyes and red hair in a ponytail, who was wearing a pink-and-black striped dress. Then there was a girl with big blue eyes and blond hair in pigtails, who was wearing a blue-and-black striped dress. Next to her was a girl with big green eyes and short black hair wearing a green-and-black striped dress. After her was an African-American girl with brown hair in dreadlocks, wearing a pink shirt and blue jeans. And finally, there was a girl duck with blond hair, wearing a pink shirt and a pink bow in her hair.

"Allow me to introduce my entourage," Cindy said, "I never travel anywhere without them." She walked around her entourage, introducing each one and their job as went by them. First, she went up to the redhead. "Blossom, nails," then she went by the blond girl, "Bubbles, hair," Next she walked by the green eyed brunette, "Buttercup, makeup," then she walked over to the African-American girl, "Libby, wardrobe," and finally, she walked up to the duck, "And Shirley, my astrologer."

Suddenly, Shirley whipped out an astrological chart (or whatever their called) and pointed at it while saying, "Venus is in Aquarius- love is in the air!" As she said that last part, the duck jammed her finger into the air, unknowingly pointing directly at the platform holding Jimmy and Dani. "She's got that right," Timmy mumbled to Gaz, as the two of them quietly starting grabbing the clothes on the ground and hiding them.

Entourage: **Everybody loves to get a surprise**

Cindy: **Everybody loves a little surprise**

Entourage: **No one could refuse a little surprise**

Cindy: **Protestants and Jews all love a surprise**

Entourage: **When you're melancholy**

Cindy: **Oh, boo-hoo-hoo-oo**

Entourage: **And you start to cry**

Cindy: **Don't you cry**

Entourage: **'Cause a nice surprise**

Cindy: **Huh?**

Entourage: **Will dry your eyes**

Cindy: **What?**

Entourage: **And troubles go bye-bye!**

Cindy: **Bye-bye!**

Gaz and Timmy, having hidden the clothing, now decided to try and get Cindy and her employees out of the lab. Or else all hell was going to break loose.

Gaz & Timmy: ** Some folks don't appreciate a surprise**

Cindy & Entourage: **No one could refuse a teeny weeny surprise**

Gaz & Timmy: '**Specially if they're naked**

**When they're surprised**

Cindy & Entourage: **Everyone could use a lovely surprise**

Gaz & Timmy: **If you know what's doing**

Cindy & Entourage: **A surprise is brewing**

Gaz & Timmy: **Here's what we advise**

Cindy & Entourage: **Uh huh!**

Gaz & Timmy: **Never bother people with a surprise!**

Cindy: **Jimmy, are you ready**

**For a simply stunning surprise?**

(A/N: The following parts of the song are sung simultaneously. I'm going to write down each one separately, or they don't make sense.)

Gaz & Timmy: **Some folks don't appreciate**

**Being surprised**

'**Specially if they're naked**

**When they're surprised**

**Things were going smoothly,**

**Good things come to pass,**

'**Til fate knocks you on your ass!**

**Some folks don't appreciate**

**Being surprised**

**If they are naked will she be sur-**

Entourage: **Everybody loves to get a surprise**

**Oh life can be so dull without a surprise**

**Oh when your spirit's dragging,**

**And you're oh so blue,**

**Now it all can change,**

**If the fates arrange**

**A nice surprise for you!**

**Oh all** **the world enjoys a lovely surprise**

**Life's a chore, a bore, without**

**Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise,**

**Sur-**

Cindy: **It's me! It's me! It's me! It's me!**

**Jimmy darling**

**It's me!**

**Oui, oui**

**It's me you see**

**It's me!**

**Now stop your dragging and don't be blue**

'**Cause it all can change**

**Well here's a surprise for you**

**Oh all the world enjoys a lovely surprise**

**Surprise!**

**Surprise!**

During the sequence above, Cindy danced around the room. At one point, she accidently hit the red button that controlled the platform, causing it to start lowering back into the lab. Gaz and Timmy, while still singing, panicked and ran over to the button and pressed it, making the platform rise back up. Gaz and Timmy sighed in relief, but unfortunately, the still-dancing Cindy hit the button _again_.

This happened several more times during the singing, until sparks shot out of the button, indicating that it had shorted out. Too bad for Gaz and Timmy (and Jimmy and Dani, of course), this was while the platform was coming down, which meant there was nothing to stop it from going all the way down to the floor. The good news was that Jimmy and Dani were still covered by a sheet. The bad news was that Cindy stopped her dancing by spinning to stop and leaning on the platform.

Cindy: **Embrace the unexpected,**

**And let the fates devise**

**A stunning, cunning**

**Wonderful sur-**

At that moment, Jimmy and Dani both sat up in the platform, and Cindy gasped in surprise. "Jimmy!" "Cindy!" Jimmy yelled in surprise. "_Scheise!_" Dani cursed.

Gaz, Timmy & Entourage: **Surprise!**

Cindy fainted. Jimmy jumped off the platform (after pulling his pants on and throwing on a shirt, of course) and helped her up. Meanwhile, Gaz and Timmy helped Dani get quickly dressed.

"Cindy, are you alright?" Jimmy asked, concerned, as Cindy slowly regained consciousness. "Oh, Jimmy," she said, holding a hand to her head, "I had the most horrible nightmare. You were lying in bead with this hideous brunette…" She trailed off as she saw Dani and the others looking over at them. "…Hello."

"Hello. Pleasure to meet you," Dani said through clenched teeth- she'd heard the "hideous brunette" comment. Jimmy cleared his throat, hoping to diffuse the situation. "I am glad to see you, darling," he said, "But, unfortunately, I can't stay. We have something _very_ important to care of." As he said this, he nodded at Dani and Timmy, and headed towards the stairs. "Gaz," he added over his shoulder, "Show Cindy and the others to their rooms won't you?" And with that, Jimmy and his assistants left to continue the search for Ed.

Gaz turned to Cindy and her entourage and said, "Follow me, please," and started towards the stairs. Cindy huffed, but followed, her entourage trailing after her.

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**A/N: Man this chapter was a real b-tch to write. But it's done now, and that's the important thing. Next chapter will be a lot sooner, I swear.**

**Read and review!**


	13. Please Send Me Someone

**A/N: I would have gotten this up sooner, but I've just been too busy studying for my midterms. Thanks for being patient. Anyway, this chapter contains a certain role played by a special guest, as per request by Anonymous But Interested. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 12:**

** Please Send Me Someone**

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Lying in the forest outside Transylvania Heights was a small cabin. In that cabin was a man. He was a tall man, with brown hair who was wearing shades to cover up his scarred, blind eyes. His name was Matt Murdock, although he used to be the superhero Daredevil, who used his heightened remaining senses as a type of sonar. But, that's beside the point. These days, he was retired and lived in the wilderness, in order to be closer to God.

(A/N: I'm sure I'm messing up every DD continuity, but it's the only way I could make it fit)

The one problem with this lifestyle though, was that he was so lonely. "Oh, Lord," he prayed, "Please take pity! I'm blind and oh so lonely!"

Matt: **Someone,**

**Send me someone,**

**I need someone,**

**Who will care.**

**Someone,**

**Send me someone,**

**A friend to end despair.**

**Someone to comfort my soul,**

**Someone**

**To make my life whole.**

**Can you hear me?**

**Someone,**

**I'm praying for someone,**

**I'm saying there's someone**

**Out there for me!**

**Each night I'm yearning,**

**Tossing and turning,**

**Dreaming my dream comes true!**

**Someone,**

**Please send me someone,**

**I'm so blue.**

"Oh, Lord. Look down on your poor blind hermit. It's been so long since I felt the touch of someone's hand, so long since I heard the sound of someone's voice. Each night, all I hear is the wind in the trees, and if I'm lucky, an owl or maybe… a cricket. Oh, Lord, let's face it, we're talking LONELY here." Matt dropped to his knees and clasped his hands together.

Matt: **Can you hear me?**

**Someone!**

**I'm praying for someone!**

**I'm saying there's someone,**

**Out there for me!**

**Each night I'm yearning,**

**Tossing and turning,**

**Dreaming my dream comes true!**

**Someone,**

**Please send me someone,**

**Dear God, send me someone!**

Just then, Ed burst through the door with a roar, leaving a hole in his exact shape behind him. Matt heard him, and threw his arms into the air.

Matt: **Thank you!**

Ed gave out another shriek, but Matt shushed him as he got up. "Please, don't speak," he said, "I want to savor this moment." He grabbed Ed and starting moving his hands over him in order to get a picture of him in his mind. "Wow, you must have been the tallest in your class," Matt muttered, realizing how tall Ed was, "My name is Matt, and I live here all alone. What's your name?"

Ed groaned. "Sorry, I didn't quite get that," Matt said, "And with my hearing, that's saying something." Ed groaned again, and Matt seemed to realize something. "Oh, I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't realize you were mute. Look how Heaven plans, huh? Me, a blind hermit, and you, a mute." He tried to pat Ed on the shoulder, only to get him on the arm instead. "An incredibly _tall_ mute," he muttered, before grabbing Ed's hand and saying, "You are chilled to the bone. Come, some hot soup will warm you up."

Matt took Ed over to a small table off to the side and sat him down in one of the chairs. He turned to walk towards a small pot hanging over a fireplace in the corner, but stopped and said to the audience, "In reference to the scene that's about to take place, my remaining senses have been heightened to superhuman levels, so yes, I'll know exactly what's going on. But, for the sake of the script, I'll have to pretend I'm just another blind man."

Turning away from the broken fourth wall, Matt carefully removed the pot from over the fire and walked over to Ed. "Hold out your bowl," Matt said, "And I'll pour your soup." Ed picked up a bowl from the table and held it out. Matt ladled some soup out of the bowl… and completely missed the bowl, dropping the hot liquid directly onto Ed's lap. Ed shrieked in pain, but Matt mistook it for delight at the taste of the soup. "If you liked that," he said, "you're going to love the ale I've got to wash it down."

After pouring himself some of the soup, Matt placed two cups and a bottle on the table. He popped the cork out of the bottle and poured some of the contents into the cups. Ed grabbed his cup, and was about to drink, when Matt interrupted. "I propose a toast," he said, "To new friendships!" He clanked his cup against Ed's. However, he did it so hard that Ed's cup shattered. As Matt drank, Ed rolled his eyes and tossed away the handle that was all that remained of his cup.

"And now," Matt said, "I have a surprise for you." He reached into the robe he was wearing and pulled out two cigars. "Cigars!" He handed one to Ed, who held it awkwardly. Matt grabbed a candle off the table to light the cigars, and Ed immediately freaked out. "Calm down, calm down!" Matt shouted, "Fire is good! Fire is our friend!" Ed calmed down a bit, but he still looked a little nervous. "That's right," Matt said, "Now, hold out your cigar, so I can light it." Ed held out his hand, and Matt moved the candle to light the cigar. He pulled the candle back after a moment, and Ed eagerly anticipated smoking his first cigar.

Until, that is, he realized that Matt had lit his _thumb_ on fire. He gave a shriek of pain, blew it out, and then got up and crashed through the wall, once again leaving a hole in his exact shape behind him. "Wait!" Matt cried, "I was going to make espresso!" He sighed, "Oh, well."

Matt: **Someone,**

**Some other someone.**

**Please send me someone,**

**I beg you!**

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**A/N: So, what did you think? Worth the wait or not? I hope it was, but I'll take whatever criticism you have. Until next time, my friends!**

**Read and review!**


	14. Man About Town

**A/N: Okay, new chapter. This one actually has one of the more touching songs of the show, in my opinion. Whether you feel so or not, I'll leave up to you. Enjoy.**

**Oh, and the whole dungeon cell scene takes place on that side of the door, so I don't show what the assistants are doing.**

**Disclaimer: See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 13:**

** Man About Town**

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Ed continued to stumble through the woods, but stopped when he heard some familiar music being played on a French horn. Becoming almost hypnotized by the music, he followed it to a small clearing. As soon as he entered, a voice shouted out, "Now!" and a net was thrown on top of him. As he struggled, Jimmy, Timmy and Dani jumped on top of him, and after a few moments were able to inject him with a sedative. When he slumped into unconsciousness, Jimmy ordered his assistants, "Quickly, we need to get him back to the castle!" And with that, the three carried the unconscious monster back towards Castle Frankenstein.

XXXXXXX

A few hours later, Jimmy, Timmy, Dani and Gaz stood outside a door in the castle's dungeon. On the other side of the door was the room where they were keeping Ed. "Now then," Jimmy said, "I'm going to go in." "No!" Timmy and Dani shouted, at the same time Gaz shouted, "Yes!" "I have to," Jimmy said determinedly, "The only thing that can save this poor creature now is love. I'm going to show him he's loved, even at the cost of my own life." "Be careful, Dr. Frankenstein," Dani said, concerned.

Jimmy put his arm around Dani to comfort her, but continued and said, "Remember, no matter what you hear, no matter how I beg or threaten, no matter how terribly I scream, do not open this door or you will ruin everything I've worked for." "Nice working with you," Timmy said with a shrug. Jimmy moved to go through the door, and Gaz quickly grabbed his hand and kissed it for good luck. "Remember," Jimmy paused in the doorway, and said one last time, "Do not open this door." Then he walked through the door and closed it behind him. Gaz then locked it and stood guard.

Inside the room, Jimmy looked on at Ed, who was chained down to a chair. Suddenly, Ed noticed him, and without any visible effort, ripped his arms loose from the chains holding him down. Jimmy yelped and ran back toward the door. "Open up! Open up and let me out!" Remembering- and regretting- what he said earlier, Jimmy laughed and said, "Come on, I was joking, I didn't mean it. Can't you people take a joke?"

Jimmy looked back at Ed, who was now ripping the chains off his chest. The doctor gulped, then started pounding on the door. "Let me out before he kills me!" Jimmy shouted, "Open this door or I'll kick your butts! Mommy!" Seeing that they weren't going to let him out, Jimmy nervously turned back towards Ed, who was walking towards him. Ed was about to pounce on him when Jimmy desperately shouted out, "Hello, handsome!"

Ed stopped, and slowly spun around, trying to see who Jimmy was talking to. Finally, he stopped and pointed at himself while making an inquisitive sound. "Yes, you," Jimmy said, still slightly afraid, "You are a handsome man. True, people mock you, despise you, hate you- and do you know why? They are jealous!" Ed looked surprised at this, but he also seemed happy.

"You have it all, my friend," Jimmy said, a little more confident, seeing that his words were having an effect on Ed. "You have physical strength, pure muscle… and can we talk about pure Olympian ideal? You, Ed, are a God!" Ed smiled as tears of happiness started to form in his eyes. "And," Jimmy continued, "I want you to remember one thing: you are not bad. You… are… good!" Ed started openly crying, as he let out a cry of joy. He ran forward and pulled his creator into a hug. "Shh, shh," Jimmy said, patting his creation on the back, "You are a good boy. A mother's angel. And I want the whole world to know, once and for all, that you are loved!"

Jimmy: **Now you're a creature,**

**A primitive soul,**

**You don't know your left from your right.**

**You're lost in the dark,**

**You need a spark,**

**To lead you into the light.**

**I'll be that guide,**

**I'll be by your side,**

**I'll pull you out of the mire,**

**You'll be the greatest creation of Man,**

**Since the invention of fire!**

"Huh?" was all Ed managed to say. Jimmy pulled away from Ed, gesturing with his arms to get his point across.

Jimmy: **You will walk,**

**You will talk,**

**Everybody will gawk,**

**At the man about town.**

**From the start,**

**You'll be smart,**

**You will break every heart,**

**You're the man about town!**

**And I know,**

**When you open that door,**

**You'll be cheered,**

**Never feared**

**Ever more!**

**Raise your eyes,**

**To the skies,**

**There's no holding you down,**

**You won't be a flash in the pan!**

**You're the man,**

**You're the man about town!**

Jimmy grabbed Ed's hands and started pulling him around the room in an awkward dance.

Jimmy: **Throw your hat in the ring,**

**They might make you a king,**

**And you'll trade that hat for a crown!**

**You're the man,**

**You're the man about **_**town!**_

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**A/N: And there you have it. Kind of short I know, but that's the scene. The next one will be longer, I promise.**

**Until then, read and review!**


	15. Puttin' on the Ritz

**A/N: Okay, only three chapters left, counting this one. I hope you'll all enjoy these last few chapters as much as the rest of the story. In this one, we have the most famous song in the show (as it was the only one in the original movie). Read on!**

**Disclaimer: The song "Puttin' on the Ritz" belongs to Irving Berlin. Or his estate. Whatever. For everything else, see the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 14:**

**Puttin' on the Ritz**

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Some time later, people began entering a theatre somewhere in Transylvania Heights. Why? Because Jimmy had announced that he was planning on revealing what he called, "The Greatest Triumph Man Has Ever Seen," and had invited practically every important person in the scientific community to witness it.

Gaz walked out on stage, wearing a black, sparkling dress. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," she said. No one in the audience did anything- most of them had just come to mock Jimmy, who they all figured was another nut like his grandfather. "You're too kind," Gaz muttered sarcastically, whilst rolling her eyes, "In any case, tonight I have the honor to present a man whose family name is both famous, and _infamous_. I give you… Dr. Baron Jimmy Neutron Frankenstein."

Gaz walked off stage as Jimmy came through the stage curtains, wearing a tuxedo. Just for tonight, he had decided to use his full family name, in the hope that he could restore it to its former glory. Turning to the crowd, he said, "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, my fellow scien-" someone in the audience interrupted with a hiss, "-tists. A few weeks ago, coming from a background as conservative and traditionally grounded as the rest of you, I set out to experiment in the reanimation of dead tissue." Several of the audience members started laughing mockingly. "Now, now, before you brand me a lunatic, let me introduce, for your viewing and philosophical pleasure… Ed, the creature!"

The curtains parted, and Ed walked out, wearing a hospital gown. Jimmy quickly threw his arms up in the air to stall any panicking from the crowd. "Please, remain calm. We are scientists, after all, and there is nothing to fear here. Now, allow me to demonstrate the advanced nature of my revived creation's primary cerebella functions." Jimmy turned to Ed and said, "Ed, walk heel to toe."

Ed walked forward slowly. The audience clapped a little as Jimmy said, "Now, walk backwards." Ed walked backwards, and the audience applauded louder than before. Jimmy grinned, and then said, "This has just been an example of simple mechanics. What I shall now show you is nothing short of genius. What started as a bunch of lifeless tissues is now what I like to call a cultured," Jimmy grinned at this part, "Man about town!"

The lights went out, and after a few moments, Jimmy shouted, "Hit it!" The lights came back on to show Ed out of the gown and now wearing a tuxedo and top hat, and holding a cane, with Jimmy now also wearing a top hat and holding a cane. Music started playing as Jimmy started dancing around Ed.

Jimmy: **If you're blue and you**

**Don't know where to go to,**

**Why don't you go**

**Where the fashion sits…**

Ed:** Puttin' on the Ritz!**

Jimmy: **Different types**

**Who wear a day coat,**

**Pants with stripes,**

**And cutaway coat**

**Perfect fits…**

Ed:** Puttin' on the Ritz!**

Jimmy: **Dressed up like a**

**Million-dollar trouper,**

**Tryin' hard**

**To look like Gary Cooper**

Ed:** Super Duper!**

Jimmy:** Come let's mix**

**Where Rockefellers**

**Walk with sticks**

**Or umbrellas**

**In their mitts**

Ed:** Puttin' on the Ritz!**

Timmy, wearing a tuxedo, and Dani, wearing a low-cut blue dress, danced on the stage as well.

Dani: **Have you seen the well-to-do,**

**Up and down Park Avenue?**

Timmy: **On that famous thoroughfare,**

**With their noses in the air,**

Jimmy: **High hats and arrow collars,**

**White spats and lots of dollars,**

Dani, Timmy, & Jimmy: **Spending every dime,**

**For a wonderful time!**

**If you're blue and you**

**Don't know where to go to,**

**Why don't you go**

**Where the fashion sits…**

Timmy:** Put… put… put… put…**

**Puttin' on the Ritz!**

Dani, Timmy, & Jimmy: **Different types**

**Who wear a day coat,**

**Pants with stripes,**

**And cutaway coat**

**They're perfect fits…**

Timmy: **Ha cha… cha cha… cha!**

**Puttin' on the Ritz!**

"Take it!" the three shouted to Ed, who slowly started dancing in a circle.

Ed: **Bah da da dum bah,**

**Bah da da da dum,**

**Wah, wah, wah,**

**Wah bah da,**

**Bodily da dum,**

**Bodily dadum,**

**Be doo be,**

**Doo wah!**

Dani, Timmy, & Jimmy: **Yeah!**

Ed: **Super duper!**

Dani, Timmy, & Jimmy: **Come let's mix,**

**Where Rockefellers**

**Walk with sticks**

**Or umbrellas**

**In their mitts**

Ed: **Puttin' on the Ritz!**

Jimmy: **Puttin' on the Ritz!**

Dani & Timmy: **Puttin' on the Ritz!**

Jimmy and his assistants left the stage, allowing Ed to do his thing, which happened to be a jazz-y number that involved a lot of feet tapping and arm waving. As this was going on, Ed didn't notice that his shadow was dancing on its own, doing a routine that was different from the one Ed himself was doing. Ed paused, sensing something was wrong. He turned around, but his shadow had gone back to normal.

Shrugging, Ed started dancing again- and his shadow started doing its own thing again. Ed stopped again, and this time he saw his shadow moving on its own. Ed crossed his arms and glared at his shadow, before clearing his throat. The shadow stopped and looked at him. Ed threw up his arms and roared. His shadow yelped and ran off.

Ed: **Puttin' on the Ritz!**

As Ed went back to dancing, a chorus line of men dressed up to look like Ed came out and started dancing with him. This went on for several minutes.

Ed: **Puttin' on the Ritz!**

Jimmy, Dani, Timmy and Gaz danced onto the stage with Ed and the others. As the song came to an end, Ed stood on a platform that slowly rose up out of the stage, and Jimmy and his assistants sat on its edges.

Ed: **Puttin' on the Ritz!!!**

Confetti and streamers rained down from the ceiling as the song/dance concluded. The audience burst into applause. Jimmy grinned at his friends as Cindy, wearing a fancy red dress and a mink shawl, ran up on stage to congratulate them. He had finally redeemed the family name. Everything was going according to plan…

That is, until one of the stage lights burst. Ed screamed and started panicking, waving his arms about in the air and running around the stage, knocking over anyone who got in his way. "Calm down!" Jimmy shouted, desperate to get things under control before something bad happened, "Calm down- Oof!" Jimmy was cut off as Ed, still in a panic, knocked him down.

"Jimmy!" Cindy shouted, before going up to her fiancée's creation and hitting him on the shoulder, "Leave him alone you brute!" Ed, now more angry than afraid, suddenly grabbed Cindy, flung her over his shoulder, and ran off. "Cindy!" Jimmy shouted, trying to get back up, but fell back down, due to still being dizzy from the hit he took.

"After him!"

The still-woozy Jimmy and his assistants turned around to see Davy Jones and a bunch of villagers- who had come just in case something like this happened- ran across the stage after Ed and his captive. As the rest of the mob passed them, Jones paused, and said to Jimmy, "You had better pray we find her alive, Herr Doctor, or it will be very… _unfortunate_ for you." With that, he stormed after the rest of the angry mob.

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**A/N: Okay, this chapter went better than most of the others, since I actually remembered the whole scene. Although, I did make a couple of changes:**

**1) That line of Davy Jones's at the end is original, as I wanted some dramatic buildup to the finale of the show/parody.**

**And 2) That line at the beginning about "The Greatest Triumph Man Has Ever Seen," is actually a line from another song in "Frankenstein", a rock opera musical version of the original novel that ran off-Broadway earlier this year. I got the soundtrack for my iPod about a month ago and have been listening to it virtually nonstop since.**

**With that little rant out of the way, read and review!**


	16. Deep Love

**A/N: Welcome to the penultimate chapter of 'Young Frankenstein.' Here, we get a rather nice- if not a little disturbing- love song, and set the stage for the finale. Enjoy! And if you don't like innuendo, just skip the song.**

**Disclaimer: See the prologue disclaimer.**

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**Chapter 15:**

** Deep Love**

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Ed carried his kicking, screaming captive deep into the woods, until he reached a small cave. Quickly looking around, he tossed Cindy onto the ground. "Oh, you're in for it now," Cindy threatened, "You'll do life by the time my lawyers are done with you. I'll-" Cindy stopped as she noticed the way Ed was looking at her. He had a weird smirk on his face as he removed his tie and tuxedo jacket. "Oh no," Cindy said, backing away, "Don't even think about it!"

She continued backing away, until she was out of site. Ed, however, just chased her into the cave. While they couldn't be seen, they could still be heard, even from a distance away. "No, no, stop! Please… Woof!"

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Some time later, Davy Jones led his angry mob through the area. However, they didn't see the cave, and left. If they had staid a few more minutes, they would have seen a slightly disheveled Ed come out of the cave, followed by Cindy, who's hair was out of its ponytail and who's dress was also messed up. Both of them laughed as they leaned against some rocks outside the cave and Cindy lit a cigarette.

"Penny for your thoughts, Monobrow?" she asked with a smile. Ed grunted, also with a smile. "You know, until now, my life's been nothing more than a meaningless whirl of silly parties," Cindy said with a sigh as she leaned against a boulder, "But I've always felt that something was missing: love. And I'm not talking about puppy love, either. Or one-night-stand love, or cheap love. No! What I'm talking about is…" Cindy paused, searching for the right words, "What's the word I'm looking for? Ah, yes…"

Cindy: **Deep love,**

**At last I found deep love,**

**Been searching for deep love,**

**For all of my life!**

**Long love,**

_**Incredibly**_** long love,**

**A constant and strong love,**

**That rids me of strife!**

**Firm love,**

**A gentle but firm love,**

**An unyielding firm love,**

**For this my heart cried!**

**Deep love,**

**At last I found deep love,**

**Now I will keep love,**

**Forever inside!**

By this point, Cindy was sitting by the side of the cave entrance. Ed came over and nuzzled against her. She laughed and asked, "Again?" Ed nodded. "You're incorrigible, aren't you? You ol' zipper neck," Cindy said, before shrugging and adding, "Well, all right. Seven always has been my lucky number. Come here, you great big hot monster!" Cindy grabbed Ed and pulled him down onto the ground on top of her.

But, before they could have any "fun," some familiar music could be heard in the distance. Ed stopped what he was doing and looked up in the direction of the music. "What is it? What's the matter?" Cindy asked, before she too heard the music, "Is it that music? Oh forget it. That's just some poor lonely fool blowing his French horn." However, Ed ignored her, got up, and walked away. "Where are you going? You're walking out on me? Me!" Cindy, enraged, got up and shouted after Ed, "Oh, you men are all alike. Five or six quick ones and you're off with the boys to boast and brag! Well, you better keep your mouth shut!" Cindy suddenly sagged against the cave wall and muttered, "Oh, I think I love him."

Cindy: **Deep love, at last I found deep love.**

**Now I will keep love,**

**Deeper and deeper and deeper**

**And deeper and deeper**

**And deeper and deeper**

**Forever inside!**

**Forever inside!**

XXXXXXX

Back at Castle Frankenstein, Jimmy and Dani were in the laboratory, setting up an experiment that they hoped would be able to solve all the problems they were having with Ed. There were two platforms set up next to each other. Above them, there was some sort of spherical device hanging from the ceiling, connected via cables to a pair of headsets, one for each platform.

"Are you sure this will work, Dr. Neutron?" Dani asked as she helped connect everything to a main power bank. "It _has_ to work," Jimmy said, "If not, we're all dead." Just then, Timmy and Gaz entered the lab, carrying an unconscious Ed down the stairs. After luring him out with the music, they had sedated him and carried him back to the castle. "We got him, master!" Timmy said, as they dragged the sleeping monster over towards one of the platforms and strapped him down.

"Good work," Jimmy said, "Just in time. We're all set up for the transfer." "What's a 'transfer'?" Gaz asked. Jimmy grinned as he said, "Something not even your precious Zim thought up. I'm going to transfer some of my own brain chemicals into Ed's cerebellum. Hopefully that should balance out his own brain chemicals and give him a semblance of actual intelligence." As Jimmy said this, he threw off his lab coat and sat down on the second platform. "Isn't that dangerous?" Gaz asked. "Extremely," Jimmy responded with a shrug, "But it's our only choice. Now, put that headset on him."

As the assistants put the headset on Ed, and Jimmy put his own on, a loud banging noise could be heard. "It's the villagers!" Dani shouted, "They're breaking in!" "Timmy, quick!" Jimmy said, "Throw the third switch!" Timmy looked from his employer to the switch bank and back. "The third switch? What about the first and second switches?" "There's no time!" Jimmy snapped, "Throw it now!"

Timmy threw the switch, and the transfer machine activated. Both Jimmy and Ed twitched violently, and then the lights went out. When they came back on, Jimmy was lying back on the platform, groaning, and Ed was still unconscious. "Okay, that hurt," Jimmy said, as the others helped him up. They turned to Ed and began examining him.

They were so intent on doing so they didn't even notice when the entrance to the lab burst open, and Davy Jones led the villagers down the stairs. "He's dead," Jimmy said, after feeling for Ed's pulse, and failing. "Well then," Davy Jones said, "If the creature's dead, then you'll have to take his punishment, Herr Doctor." "Punishment for what?" Dani asked, extremely nervous. "Punishment for the death of Cindy Vortex," Jones said, earning a gasp from Jimmy's group, "As evidenced by the fact that all we could find of her was her left shoe." As Jones said this, he held up Cindy's shoe in his crab arm.

Jimmy, looking shocked, took the shoe out of Jones' hand. "No, it can't be," he said. "Oh, but it can," Jones said, smugly, "And now, according to our laws, you must now be hanged." "Get him!" Raimundo shouted, and all the villagers swarmed at Jimmy.

"Stop!" Timmy shouted, throwing himself between Jimmy and the mob, "I'm the one you want! Dr. Neutron didn't even want to make Ed in the first place, but I talked him into it!" The villagers paused and looked at Davy Jones, who just shrugged and said, "Okay, we'll hang Turner instead." The villagers nodded and were about to grab Timmy, but he held up his hands and said, "Hold on a minute! Now that I think about it, I didn't really do all that much." He then turned to Jimmy and said, "Sorry Doc, I tried." "So, who are we hanging?" Yang asked, scratching his head. "Well, I guess it's back to Neutron, then," Yin replied.

The villagers pushed Timmy out of the way and grabbed Jimmy. They then proceeded to carry him up the stairs and out of the lab. Timmy, Gaz, and Dani followed quickly, trying to think of a way to help Jimmy. And in all this commotion, no one saw Ed twitch on the platform, and start to move…

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**A/N: Bet none of you saw that coming, did ya? Only one chapter left folks, and I'll try to have it up soon.**

**Until then, read and review!**


	17. Finale Ultimo

**A/N: Here it is, everyone! The final chapter of 'Young Frankenstein: The Toon Musical.' Now, everything will be resolved-and I mean **_**everything**_**. Plus, at the end I've got a bonus scene added in, as per request by Anonymous But Interested. Read on, and enjoy!**

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**Chapter 16:**

** Finale Ultimo**

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The mob dragged Jimmy to the village square, where a make shift gallows had been set up. Despite Timmy, Dani, and Gaz's best efforts, the doctor was taken up on the gallows and had a noose placed around his neck. "Any last words before we string you up, Dr. Neutron?" Davy Jones asked, sounding smug.

Jimmy looked up, a serious expression on his face. "Just this," he said.

Jimmy: **Though my time on Earth is done,**

**Though I face this angry crowd,**

**Though I'm hated and despised,**

**Of one thing I can say I'm proud,**

**This is truly mine.**

At this point, Jimmy's serious look turned to one of anger, and he practically spat his following words at the villagers.

Jimmy: **I'm a man who has no shame**

**In shouting out his family name.**

**I am a Frankenstein!**

With that out of the way, Jimmy glared at the villagers. Some looked slightly intimidated or ashamed, but Jones merely signaled to Harry Potter, who was serving as the executioner, and he pulled the lever that opened up the trap door underneath Jimmy's feet, hanging him. Dani, Timmy and Gaz gasped and looked away, when suddenly…

"**STOP!!!**" a deep, sophisticated voice shouted. Everyone turned and gasped in surprise as Ed entered the square, alive and well. However, there was something different about him. He now walked standing straight, and his eyes had a look of intelligence in them. "Put that man down!" he commanded, while pointing at Jimmy, who was hanging from the noose. The villagers, who were too stunned to disobey, cut Jimmy down from the gallows and placed him on the ground next to Ed and the assistants, who started examining him.

"Hey, what gives?" asked Davy Jones, who had recovered from his shock, "Before, he could barely talk- now he sounds like Sean Connery!" Ed, who feeling Jimmy's neck, answered, "This brilliant man, who gave me life, risked his own in order to stabilize my brain chemicals and give me intellect."

"Is he… dead?" Timmy asked. "Yes," Ed said, "But there's still a chance to revive him. If I can just make a small puncture in the base of his neck, I can stimulate the fluids in his brain stem and jump start his nervous system." "I have a hairpin," Dani said, pulling it out of her hair, "Will that work?" Ed nodded and grabbed it out of her hand. "It should," he said, right before he jabbed it into the back of Jimmy's neck. For a few moments, nothing happened, but then…

"YOOOOWWWW!" Jimmy yelled, jerking up straight. "He's alive," Ed said, unknowingly repeating the catchphrase of his creator's family, "He's alive!" Jimmy's friends gathered around him, hugging him and showing how glad they were that he was alive. Jimmy gently pushed them away and carefully got to his feet. He smiled at Ed and offered his hand. "You saved my life," he said, "Thank you." Ed took his hand and shook it.

Unfortunately, Davy Jones then stepped forward and said, "Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Neu… Frankenstein, but we're going to have to hang you again- and this time, your monster's going to be joining you." Jones held up Cindy's shoe and continued, "After all, you still have to pay for the death of Cindy Vortex!" "Somebody say my name?" a familiar voice asked.

Once again, everyone turned and was surprised (except for Ed) to see Cindy, now sporting a 'Bride of Frankenstein'-style hairdo, entering the village square, followed by her entourage. "Sorry I'm late, everyone," she said, "But I've been looking everywhere for my left shoe." Jones, too shocked to speak, simply held up the shoe and offered it to her. "Oh, there it is," Cindy said, taking the shoe and putting it on.

"So, I guess we don't have to hang anyone after all, huh?" Raimundo said, rubbing his neck. "Huh? Hang?" Cindy asked, looking around. Apparently, she hadn't realized what was going on. Then she spotted Jimmy's group by the gallows and gasped. "Oh darling, did they hurt you?" she asked, running over to the group. Jimmy opened his arms to embrace Cindy… who walked right past him and embraced Ed.

Jimmy blinked in surprise, staring at the scene for a few moments before saying, "Wait… you called _him_ 'darling'?" Cindy and Ed looked at each other before Ed said, "James, I know it's a rather shabby thing for a chap to do to his creator, but I'm afraid I've fallen madly in love with your fiancé." "And I with him!" Cindy said.

Ed: **Deep love,**

**At last she's found deep love,**

**Been searching for deep love,**

**For all of her life.**

Ed got down on one knee as he continued.

**Hard love,**

**A diamond-like hard love,**

**You caught me off guard love,**

**Will you be my wife?**

"Yes!" Cindy shouted, as she grabbed Ed and kissed him passionately. Then the villagers (who had decided that, since Ed wasn't a monster and no one had died, they could let the law slide this time) joined in the song.

Villagers: **Deep love!**

**At last they've found deep love!**

**And now they will keep love,**

**Forever inside!**

Just then, the voice of a certain blind hermit could be heard, singing in the distance.

Matt: **Someone,**

**Send me someone,**

**I need someone,**

**Who will care.**

"Excuse me, Dr., Ed, everyone," Gaz said, "But I've got to go- I've got a 'blind date'." With that, Gaz used some breath spray, and then walked out of the village. Suddenly, Timmy, who'd been leaning against one of the gallows' support beams, jumped up and shouted, "It's a miracle! It's gone!" Everyone looked at him, confused, until he explained, "My hump! It's gone!" Everyone burst out cheering, seeing that the hump was no longer on either of Timmy's shoulders.

But then Timmy felt something on his back and said, "No, no, wait a minute… it's in the middle." Timmy turned, showing that the hump was indeed now in the middle of Timmy's back. Everyone went, "Awww!" as Timmy walked away, muttering curses under his breath.

All of a sudden, there was an explosion of smoke in the middle of the square. Everyone gasped and backed away. The smoke cleared to reveal an old African-American man with short gray hair and fangs, wearing a suit and a cape that was black on the outside, and red on the outside. This was Dracula, King of the Vampires (from _The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy_). "Good evening," he said, "Dracula thinking of relocating to the Transylvania area. Maybe buy a castle, like that one there on the hill." At that last part, Dracula pointed to Castle Frankenstein.

However, Jimmy stepped forward and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but that castle's not for sale. It's mine, and I'll be living in it from now on because,-"

Jimmy: **I'm going to join the family business,**

**Learn the family trade,**

**Make another monster,**

**Make the world afraid!**

Jimmy slid over to Dani and put his arm around her.

**We can take a hayride**

**When we're on our honeymoon,**

"Honeymoon?!" Dani asked excitedly- she liked where this was going.

**We'll make the Son of Frankenstein,**

**The sequel's coming soon!**

As everyone else (including Dracula, who just wanted to flirt with every woman there) went off to celebrate the coming nuptials, Jimmy and Dani stayed behind. "Darling," Dani said, "If you gave Ed your brilliant mind, what did he give you in return?" Jimmy looked around to make sure no one was listening, then leaned over and whispered into Dani's ear. Her eyes widened, and she said the only thing she could think of.

"Woof!"

As the new fiancés kissed, Timmy came back into the square with his French horn, and started playing it as an apparently invisible chorus kicked in.

Chorus: **Welcome to Transylvania!**

**Where blessings fall from up above,**

**Where even monsters fall in love,**

**The moon will always shine,**

**On young Frankenstein!**

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

**A/N: And so, this fic is finally done! But don't go anywhere, because here comes that bonus scene for ABI, plus a little something I came up with myself.**

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

As the crew began packing up the scenery and props for the parody/musical, Jimmy and Cindy were talking. "Look," Jimmy was saying to Cindy, "Concerning that stuff with Dani, I _was_ just following the script." However, Cindy said, "Well, I'd probably be a lot more upset if I actually had room to talk. Since I _don't_- given the scenes with Ed- I suppose I can be understanding about the matter."

Just then, the author ran onto the set shouting, "OUT OF MY WAY!" and ran out the opposite end of the set. Before that had even fully registered with Jimmy and Cindy, Zim ran onto the stage shouting, "GET BACK HERE YOU WORTHLESS MEAT-PUPPET!" and ran off the stage after the author.

Jimmy turned to Timmy, who had walked on stage with a bunch of the minor characters, and asked, "What's with Zim?" Timmy shrugged and said, "He's upset that the author gave him such a small part."

"YOU DARE CALL YOURSELF MY MOST LOYAL SERVANT?!"

"BUT YOU GOT THE BEST SONG IN THE SHOW- NO STOP! MY SPINE DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY!"

"Dracula doesn't know what he's complaining about," Dracula complained, crossing his arms, "At least he got a song. Dracula was only in this stupid parody for two minutes. Dracula didn't get to bust a move!" "More like bust a hip," Eddy muttered, before saying, "Anyone want to get something to eat?"

"Fine by me," Cindy said, and the group left, as the author gave one last pain-filled shout, "MY SPLEEN!"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

**A/N: Okay, NOW this fic is done. Sorry, ABI, that the bonus scene was dominated by my own idea, rather than your suggestion, but I just had to write that.**

**Also, I'd like to take this chance to thank JusSonic, Anonymous But Interested, nobodiez, rextron, and Julayla for being my ONLY reviewers. Thanks!**

**Read and review!**


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